May your week be sunshiny and full of rainbows and unicorns. If not, may you make it through without needing bail money and without duct taping anyone to a tree. You can do it. I believe in you. ~J.V. Manning I'm tired. Really tired. Not just sleepy tired either. I'm tired of needless drama. I'm tired of going in circles. I'm tired of being everything to everyone all the time and not being appreciated for it. I'm even tired of my name, for it seems present on the lips of far too many people who believe it easier to get me to do something than for them to put the effort in to figure it out. I'm just tired. I'm tired of people who won't help themselves. I don't get it. I really don't. If something isn't working, you think of alternative ways to do it. If something is broken, you fix it. If something needs attention, you focus on it. At least that is how I live my life. I do not have the ability to screw my eyes shut, put my hands over my ears, and duct tape over my mouth and hope it just goes away or better yet someone else deals with it. I'm tired of going in circles because others cannot pick a direction. I'm incredibly tired of the pushback that occurs when I put my foot down to set a direction myself. If someone won't make a decision and a decision is needed to move forward, well then I will make a decision and go with it. Going in circles is a waste of time, resources and my energy. Make a decision and roll with it. It may very well be the wrong one. So, what? Adjust and keep going. I don't not shrink from being a leader. Though I am tired of being told I'm to bossy. I'm not bossy, I'm driven. There is a difference. It is not my fault if others are not. I have things to do. I'm tired of selfish people. I would give the shirt off my back to someone who needed it, even if no one needed to see me without said shirt. I love buying coffee for random people, I love doing for others, and trying to help whenever and wherever I can. Today, I watched a woman in her forties push past an elderly lady and into a busy convenience store. Apparently this woman couldn't wait the extra 4 seconds to walk in behind the older lady to buy her Cheetos so she had to rip the door from the old lady's hands and push herself in front of her. I am not, however, tired of telling off rude people like that. What made my verbal tirade on the rude woman even more epic, was the little old lady yelling "Take that!" from the beer aisle. I'm tired people who blame others instead of taking personal responsibility. I spoke with someone the other day who had made a mistake. Wasn't a big deal. But she spent 20 minutes placing the blame on everyone and anyone she could think of, except the one person it belong to, herself. I knew it was her fault. She knew that I knew it was her fault. Even after 20 minutes and me countering every excuse she could come up with, she wouldn't admit to it. Finally, I looked her dead in the eye and told her that I would accept the blame if it meant we could move on. Her response... that it was about time I owned it. I couldn't help but laugh I'm tired of people who bitch and moan about how awful something is but don't do a damn thing to change it. If it is something that can be changed, change it. If it isn't something that can be changed, change the way you look at it. If it affects your life, if it hurts your soul and you can't do anything about it or fix it, learn to let it go. But, for all that is holy, get off your butt and do something. Sitting there complaining isn't going to change anything. If you want change - be the change.
I'm tired of not having enough hours in the day. I think we should be able to bank some hours over the course of a month and being able to pull them out as needed. I also think adding a day between Saturday and Sunday is a fantastic idea. Now, I have to get off my butt and figure out who to call to make this happen. I would also like to look into cloning and have a few more of me made. While I know the world really doesn't need more of me, I sure do. I'm tired and cranky. It happens. Will it last forever? Nope. It is life. Not every day is sunshine and rainbows. Not every day is awesome. Reality can often suck. Eloquent I know but it's the truth. Some days are better than others. Some weeks can rock while others bleed the life force from your soul and make you pled with the universe for a vacation. But, in both good days and bad days there are lessons. The lesson I am learning is that I need to simplify my life. I need to make some changes to bring in some more sunshine. I need to make some changes to get rid of the negative. I.Need.To.Make.Some.Changes. Constantly evolving and becoming better is the key to a happy and fulfilling life.That is my lesson. Now, I am tired of lessons. I shall go read a book and escape for a while. May your week be sunshiny and full of rainbows and unicorns. If not, may you make it through without needing bail money and without ducting anyone to a tree. You can do it. I believe in you.
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November 2020
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