I will not be known in this life for my body, well except for my boobs
they are pretty popular. What I will be known for, is my mind and what I do and the lives that I can touch. The outside is just window dressing Lately I have been spending time with this group of women. Ranging in age from 27 to 50(something). Each one of these women come to this group from a completely different walk of life, background and location. Each one spectacular in their own way, there are teachers, writers, horse trainers, stay at home moms, dentists and more. These women over the past month have become my sounding board, my encouragement and my constant source of humor, ohh hell they make me laugh. They are supportive, generous, and simply amazing women. It is probably the most improbable group of women to come together.. But it works. Each one of them has a story and lessons they can teach the others, they are so open its refreshing. Each one brings something different to the table. And I love them for it. Last week the subject of wanting to lose weight came up. One of these ladies, made a comment that she was going to use us, to help her lose weight and stop eating badly. She planned to announce her weight and we were to talk her out of bad eating choices. Actually not a bad idea, kinda of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other side. We would be the angels, as I type that I laugh as we are all so far from angels. But what happened after she came forward with this, kinda of stopped me in my tracks. Every one of the women, came forward with something about their appearance they wanted to change, fix, lose, tighten, etc. Not one, said I'm ok with me. Now I know we all have things about ourselves we want to change, and getting healthier is an awesome goal. But is not one person happy with themselves as is? These women are beautiful, successful, loving and funny. However each one came forward to announce their flaws. I admit, I did too. Though not at first, at first I just observed. The thought occurred to me, instead of being our own best friend, somewhere along the lines we had become our own worst enemies. Me included, hell if anyone outside of myself said the things I say in my mind, I would bitchslap them into next week, I accept no disrespect. But yet, I disrespect myself on a daily basis, by wishing I were thinner, prettier, better some how. It seems to be a common belief that one must be thin to have value. That the numbers on a scale determines one's worth. That when someone is not a size 2, that he or she is worthless. Not only from society's point of view, but our own. We seek some level of perfection that is set by others. We step on scales, look in mirrors and degrade ourselves. I know in this lifetime, I will never, ever be known for my body, (well except my boobs, they are pretty popular), What I will be known for, is my mind, hopefully my writing and the lives that I touch. I will be known for who I am, the real me. The outside is just window dressing. Next time you look in a mirror, look into your eyes, this is your true reflection.
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November 2020
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