Crossroads

               "Sometimes life doesn't give you a choice. Sometimes it takes all control
                                    from your hands and says, "Hang On-Ready or not".
                           You either roll with it or you break, that is your only choice."
                                                                                                                                                                                                ~J.Manning
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Sometimes in life, you have no control. Gasp! Really? Forces outside of yourself, bigger than you, collide and take the reins and leave you standing there. Breathless. Confused. Lost.  Bewildered is a good word.  Walking along your road of life when you come around a bend and -BAM! A crossroad. Not one that you had planned on, walked towards or even knew was there. You stop, confused. You look around and suddenly realization dawns. You have no idea how you got here, have no idea which road you will be forced to take and you have absolutely no control or say in which direction you will go. You have relinquished control without meaning to, wanting to or even knowing.  Allowed only a glimpse of each path before you, you have no idea where they lead, how long they go and who you will need along the way.  Darkness surrounds you, fog swirls in and you feel completely in the dark. Scared. Turning around and going back is never an option. Not going forward isn't either. You will have to face what is in front of you, one way or the other. Denial isn't your nature and not even a possibility. What is going to come, will come. The only choice in the matter that you have left is, how will you handle it.

One goes through stages when faced with a situation that you have no control over. Fear. Denial. Anger. Sadness. Finally, acceptance. If you are like me, accepting a loss of control over a situation that directly impacts my life is beyond difficult. I react, I handle, I take care of. I move mountains if I must. I face things and stare them down. I am strong, I am in control of my own life. Right?  Well yeah, sure. But only until I am not. When life decides a curve ball in is order and I am in whether or I want in or not.  It is coming up to my crossroad and knowing that I am either going to get the road on the left or the road on the right. I know which one I want. I also know I have zero say in the matter. 

I have a few days before I find out which road will be mine. I will use these days to learn some more about myself. I will prepare for both roads. I will go inside myself and I will handle what I can. I will try different perspectives and I will firm up my strength. I will play the hand that I am dealt, and I will win. Because while I have no control over which road I will be given, I have complete control over how I begin. I know that I will face whatever comes with my usual strength and determination. I will walk either road with humor and with love. I will handle it. Because that is the only option really. Handle it. Face it. Deal with it. Play the hand you are dealt and play it well. Who cares if it is a shitty hand. It is your hand. How you play it will determine how you take a situation that is out of your control and live it. You may not want to, you may be scared and feel very isolated. But you play it. Folding is not an option. You find your strength, you square your shoulders and you handle it. 

When you come upon a crossroad in life that is not of your choosing. That is completely out of your control. Accept it. Use your fear to propel you forward and your strength to see you through. You can handle everything and anything life throws at you. You never lose control of that. Your reactions and your determination will see you through. Never doubt that for a minute. You may not be able to control that life gives you, but you will always be in control of how you face it, handle it and get through it.