At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out.
They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives
drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines...
that are way too dangerous to cross.
When we set boundaries in our lives, we set limits not on others, though that's what we tell ourselves, but on ourselves. We draw a line in the sand and say, do not cross. We do not allow people in for fear that they will hurt us. We have all been burned so many times, that these boundaries are more of a protective shield than anything else. But it is only in our mind. How many of you have people that simply disrespect the boundaries you have in place? That do as they wish, when they wish and be damned with the consequences. Do you fight with them, throw accusations and demand they respect them? Do you hang your head and wallow in the unfairness of it. Do you draw that line in the sand and dare them to cross one more time? Which they do, always. Life is messy, it is unpredictable and uncharted and every day is something new. Because if it isn't, well then you aren't really living. Maybe you have so effectively fenced yourself in, that you forgot how to get out?
Don't get me wrong here, certain boundaries are important. Knowing what you will and will not allow in your life is sacred. Standing by them even more so. Not allowing people to cross the sacred ones and to stand up for yourself, is highly critical. However, what is also critical is making sure that those same boundaries, do not fence you in from your own life. What is also wicked important is making sure the boundaries that are set in your life are yours. Never operate within boundaries that someone else has set for you. You alone are responsible, you are your own person. I don't care if its your family, your spouse or significant other. Only you can set your boundaries, as only you can stand up for them.
Boundaries. Walls. Fences. Fortresses. To some extent we all have them. We tend to try and keep our lives as organized, logical and contained. We worry about others will do, we try to control situations and we build our walls higher when it doesn't work. Effectively walling ourselves in as we are trying to keep the world out. Boundaries more often then not work against us. I am not talking major, this is my line and if you cross it, the consequences will be dire.. I mean the boundaries where we try and control everything and everyone, that when something does not go our way, we retreat and react. I mean when something upsets us, makes us angry or sad and we react with everything we have inside to make it stop. Instead of stopping and for once realizing that we can not control, manipulate everything in life. That WE need to cross our own boundaries sometimes and realize that Life is messy, sometimes is hurts and sometimes it fires us up but it is up to us how we handle and react to it that matters.
We are not made to live in tiny little bubbles. Life is going to happen regardless of what you think you can and cannot control. Why waste your time drawing lines in the sand, when you could be doing something so much more worthwhile. Like being happy. Like finding work you love and doing it. Like being confident and strong and realizing that you have the power over your own life and then do something with it. We all need to stop walling ourselves in and walling life out. People are always going to things that upset us, we are always going to come across situations that break our hearts. Building stronger and stronger walls are never going to protect us from that. Life and all its ups and downs will continue to happen, the good the bad and the ugly. That is what makes it so amazing. We all need to stop standing by a line that we drew in the sand and we need to cross it. We need to stop worrying about everything we can't control..and worry about the things we can.
Don't live your life standing safely behind your walls. Go out and make mistakes, make a mess, make a fuss, make a noise, but most of all make the most of your life.
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