No Way Out

You are trapped in a room with no windows or doors. Aside from you, there is only a table in the center of the room and a mirror on the wall. 
How do you get out?

All of us have been trapped at one point or another in our lives. Some are feeling it now. Situations that seem impossible to get out of. Places we find ourselves in, either by chance or our own making, with no way out readily apparent. Circumstances seem to conspire against us and we suddenly realize that not only are our hands tied but any clear way out has disappeared. Feeling trapped overwhelms us, so exhausting and soul crushing that we lose all sense of what it means to be free. How are you supposed to get better, happier or move on if you can't see your way out of the mess you are in now? How are you supposed to get out if there are no indications of which direction to go? Even a leap of faith doesn't seem possible when you can't get an idea of where you are leaping to. It could be a worse situation than you find yourself in now. How can you jump when you don't know how far the fall will be?

How will you ever release yourself?

We get trapped in family situations; we get trapped in toxic relationships, bad jobs, debt, the past and in our own minds. Our vision gets clouded and our heart grows weary. We begin to accept that there really is no way out, and if there ever was, it was closed to us now. Over time we resign ourselves to the fact that this is our reality whether we want it or not. There is no hope of rescue. No hope of finding a way out. So, we give up and simply exist in a situation that no longer serves our spirit, soul or heart in any way.

All because we can't figure a way out.

I have to wonder though, and I am as guilty of this as the next person, exactly how hard have we tried? How many of us have quit when the results we wanted weren't immediate? How many of us looked for easy ways out and lacking those, took it as fact that there just wasn't a way out at all. How many of us have never even tried allowing fear to silence our anguish? 

How many times could we have released ourselves if only we changed our perspective on the situation? How many times did we almost come to a new solution, only to quit just before getting there? How many times when something didn't work out fast enough, or with instant gratification, did we throw our hands up and cry out? How many times have we been trapped in a room with no windows, no doors and instead of changing how we look at things, handle things - we simply sat in the corner and accepted our fate?

I know I have. More than I care to admit.

I have allowed myself to be trapped in situations with no apparent way to get out and found myself simply accepting it as my reality. My Fate. I may speak up at first, but when results aren't instantaneous or a step in the direction I felt I should be going in, I would swallow my words and simply shrug my shoulders, as if I am saying to myself; "why do I even bother?" Sometimes, even if I thought I could leave, I wouldn't because I did not want the drama my leaving would bring forth. Even if the situation wasn't right for me,but it was right for someone else I felt responsible for, I would stay. There have also been times, though miserable, I wouldn't take the initiative to move on, instead convincing myself it was far easier staying trapped than it would be to figure out how to get myself out from where I was. I am a great one for taking the easy route at times so as not to cause waves, regardless of the personal cost. There were also times when I knew I needed to extract myself but lacked the fire in my soul to motivate me. Translation – I had given up. Probably before I even started. Then there were those times I was convinced that if I kept doing what I was doing something would give eventually. For the record – that never works. 

I have spent a lot of time talking with different people over the past couple of months who are feeling trapped in situations with no clear way out. After talking with them and soul searching myself, two prominent things keep popping up - self-confidence and fear. 

Self-confidence and fear.

We know when we are trapped and we know that it is going to take some serious courage to extradite ourselves from the situation. We have no idea what will happen when we finally get out from underneath whatever it is holding us in place and that thought scares the hell out of us. Our current situation may be bad but who knows what lies around the corner? It is a big bad world out there and we could fail. We could get hurt worse than we are now. We may have no idea what to do. We don’t even know where to start. So, we convince ourselves that staying trapped is the best course of action. Safer. At least here we know what to expect and can prepare. We talk ourselves right out of our courage. We allow fear to dictate our future and in turn, effectively block any chance of finding a way out. We never ask for help because we fear the unknown more than we fear being trapped. Or, so we convince ourselves. But in truth that is the fear talking. We should know better but we don’t. 

The only confidence we have, is being confident that maybe this is what we deserve. Possibly, we are wrong about being trapped in something and this is actually where we are supposed to be? We convince ourselves that we will never have enough money, skills, experience or a chance - to find a way out. We aren't smart enough, strong enough, or brave enough. We believe there is not a damn thing we can do about it because we simply aren't worth it. We accept all the lies and manipulations heaped upon us over and over again and can no longer remember who we really are. We rationalize that people are only telling us the truth about how we really are because they are echoing what we tell ourselves every day. They tell us we are worthless, stupid, broke and incapable.

 The more powerless we feel - the more trapped we become. Often times because we handed our personal power over to someone else and when the time came that we wanted it back, we had lost control of the situation and without a miracle, or so we believe, we can never get it back.

Not true.

Releasing yourself from being trapped in certain situations is not easy. It can be scary. It can be dangerous. But, it’s not impossible. Taking back control of your life and your world is a right, not a privilege. And not something you have to do alone. Reaching out for help takes the most courage but is one giant step in the right direction. It will take confidence you don’t have yet and heart to break free. You need an iron will to silence the outside voices that are breaking you down and only listen to the whispers of your soul to pull you back from the darkness. You are worthy. You are capable. You just have to believe in yourself enough to start. 

Realizing you are trapped and appreciating what got you there, will be the first steps to recognizing your need to get out. Stop judging yourself for ending up here. Often, we start out with the best of intentions and wind up trapped because maybe we didn’t see the obvious clues or we believed something would get better if we kept trying. Then, your fear keeps you frozen in place and you convince yourself it is easier to put up and shut up than look for a way out, which it probably is, truthfully, for everyone but you.

You are worth finding a way out. You are worth changing your perspectives to see alternatives. You have the courage and the strength even at your weakest moments, I promise. Once you believe, once you allow the hope back in, you will think of ways to make it happen. Sometimes a simple change in perspective, will change your life. You do not need a clear direction out, just confidence in yourself to start. Lay the ground work, ask for help, plan and research.

If nothing is working, then try something new. If you are scared, then start small. If you don't think you can, still the voices long enough to tell yourself you sure as hell can. And when the way doesn't come easy or the pushback from others is too much to take, remind yourself that you are worth it that this is YOUR life and is totally up to you to control. People only have the power of you if you allow it.

Stop allowing it.

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You are trapped in a room with no windows or doors. Aside from you, there is only a table in the center of the room and a mirror on the wall. 

How do you get out?

Look in the mirror, see what you saw, take the saw and cut the table in half, 
two halves make a whole, jump in the hole, and see yourself out.