I Wish I Could Be Just Like... Well, Me

Did you know it takes the exact same amount of effort to beat yourself up mentally that it does to encourage and believe in yourself? Did you know the only voice your soul needs to hear in order to flourish - is your own?
~J.V. Manning

Stop whatever you are doing and repeat after me -
                              • OUT LOUD!! •

"I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am capable. I matter. I may not know where I am going, I just know I need to take the first steps. My life is a journey and will test me at times -there will be moments that force me to bend but I-Will-Never-Break. I have been through the worst of times and though scarred, I am stronger for them. I will stop letting myself get in my own way and will be my own biggest motivator, confidant and friend. I will own my life as it is mine and belongs to no one - but me. If I fall down, I will simply pick myself back up. Because, I matter. I matter to those who love me and those I have yet to meet. I matter to my community. I matter to the world. Most of all - I matter to me."

Say this part again - "I matter to me."

Did you know it takes the exact same amount of effort to beat yourself up mentally that it does to encourage and believe in yourself? Did you know the only voice your soul needs to hear in order to flourish - is your own? Did you know there is not one single person in this world who will mirror your awesomeness back to you other than when you look into a mirror and your reflection stares back? You mirror your awesomeness every day but yet dull your shine and deplete your confidence with words of malice towards the one person in the world you should take care of the most - yourself. 

I know what kind of a struggle this is. It was daily battle for me - up until the AHA! Moment! I had one day while meditating on my life. It was a defining moment when I discovered I did in fact have something worth fighting for. I did in fact have something worth standing my ground for and not backing down. I had me. Me was all I have ever had and if you can't count on yourself in life, who can you count on?

So many look to outside sources to be their confidence, to boost them, when in truth - your biggest and best motivator never leaves your side. Your best friend knows you better than anyone else possibly could. Your best friend never-ever-ever leaves you. Your best friend is always there to pick up the pieces, apply love to the brokenness inside that no one ever sees and encourages you to get back up and try again. However, for most people, this best friend is often the last place they look to for anything. Would you like to meet this best friend of yours finally?  I bet you would.

Go find a mirror and hold it in front of your face.
Your best friend in life - Is you.

Stop looking for validation from outside sources. You don't need to be validated by anyone in this world but yourself. If you continually wait for someone to give you permission to shine - you will wait forever. If you look to those who knock you down for no better reason other than to make themselves feel more powerful or better than you and take their words to be true - you are handing them your soul and giving freely of your own personal power. Manifest what you need inside of yourself. Believe in yourself, because it is not anyone else's responsibility. It is, and always has been, your responsibility. 

Stop reading magazines and staring wishfully at the perfect models portrayed in them, wishing you look liked this one or that. Just stop. Those models are looking back at you wishing they had the courage to eat a cheeseburger and to stop worrying about how they look. Those models have souls, hearts and dreams just like you. They want to be noticed, not only for their outward appearances, but also for who they really are. Just imagine, if you were to sit down for coffee with one of these woman to whom you are comparing yourself. Imagine her telling you how jealous she is of your freedom and how she wishes she would be taken more seriously for her thoughts and intelligence.  

See, every single one of us is fighting the same emotions, the same feelings and the same enemy - ourselves.  We talk ourselves out of reaching towards greatness. Who do we really think we are anyway? We tell ourselves we can't - when we really know we can, but are too scared to try. We convince ourselves we will most certainly fail, even when there is no way in hell of actually knowing until we try. We prepare plausible excuses and we play small. We are afraid of success even as much as we fear failure. Our comfort zones become more like prisons and we are trapped inside of a viscous cycle that takes possibilities and changes them to - never-will-be-unless-I-get-out-of-my-own-ways.

We have to stop being our own worst enemy. We have to be honest and truthful with ourselves. We must. How can you expect the world to accept you, believe in you and trust you, when you do not trust, believe and accept yourself? 

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We all have histories. All of us have had things happen in life that changed us, either for good or bad, yet here we are, still standing. Do you realize what it has taken for you to get to this very moment? You don't feel strong. You don't feel smart enough, pretty enough, capable or motivated.  Look at everything you have already faced and made it through. Look to everything that has happened in your life. It hasn't broken you. Know what that means? Means it is time to believe nothing ever will because you are stronger than you think. You have made it this far.

There is only one thing stopping you now... You.

I swear I can hear you immediately come up with all the reasons why you can't in your head. Followed up by the words, she doesn't understand, I can't because of.. or until.. or when..  I hear you because I often say the same things to myself. Until I make a conscious move to stop. Normally it goes like this; "Dammit Jenn, ENOUGH! Just stop already. Take a good hard look at yourself and then- get over yourself."

The time to be honest with yourself and begin your soulful journey - is right this very second. Silence the outside voices. Silence the voices of judgment that come from parents, friends, coworkers, or whoever. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Relax. Begin an honest examination of yourself, your life, your beliefs and your confidence or lack thereof. Look at your strengths and weakness. Really look. Look but - Do not judge! See all that you are, stand for and come from –just as it is. Because this is perfectly, you. Can you be better? Of course. You could be worse too.  But who you are right this second – is perfect.

Identify your perceived limitations. Are they valid? Or could a change in how you look at them bring forth new possibilities or different ways of overcoming them?

Spend time with your fears -face them. Break them down to manageable bits and one-by-one confront them. Make peace with your fears and appreciate them. Allow them to dissolve because holding onto them does you absolutely no good.

Is there something from your past that has a grip on your soul?  The time to let go and start picking the pieces up is now.  I know. I know. You aren't ready. No one is ever ready. You won’t ever feel ready. Stop over-thinking it. Stop putting it off. Stop finding excuses for all the reason why you can’t. Stop thinking and start doing. Appreciate your story. Understand how it got you to where you are today. Then, release it. Whether you realize it or not - holding on to it is perpetuating the damage to your heart and confidence. By letting go, you are not invalidating your experience, for it is in the fabric of your soul, but you are releasing its power over you. 

Our experiences make us who we are. Our experiences can also be a catalyst to reach for levels we thought unattainable. But, if you continue your strangle-hold on the bad, your hands will be too full to reach for the good.  We hold on because we convince ourselves we aren't ready to let go. When in truth, we would like nothing more. Our fear and lack of confidence keeps us holding on because the future scares us.  Opening up our heart and lives again, can be terrifying. But staying in the darkness is even worse. Appreciate your truths. Appreciate your past. Then release it in order to open up room for growth. More room for the happy, the evolving and more room to let the light back in.

While you are one of many in this world - you are the only You. You bring something to the world that no one else can. Your ideas, your thoughts, your love and being are needed because there is no one else just like you. Confidence in your abilities, in your heart and your appearance won't be found anywhere but within. It is only a struggle if you make it one. You don't need anyone's permission to shine. You do not need validation from anyone else. Their opinions in reality are just that - opinions. They are only true if you make it so. You have had the power all along, some of you have just forgotten. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Learn to value your intelligence and fortitude. Learn to appreciate your flaws because those flaws make you unique. Standing out is good sometimes. Blending in sometimes works too, but never sell your soul to wish you were someone else or living someone else's life. To do so is a travesty to the very thing that makes this life worth living - you.

Your life - Own it. Believe in yourself. Stop playing small. Go big. Be bold. Find your courage and get ready to rock it.
 
 Release your fear and...Live your life out-loud.