Toughen Up, This is Reality We Live In

“The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful 
      things will happen. What you do is move along, get on with it, and be tough. Not in
                the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and
                                    making a deadly effort not to be defeated.” 
                                                                                                                                     ~Katharine Hepburn

Regardless of whatever you are facing in your life right now, regardless of how hard, how desperate, how awful it may feel, you have to face it. You have to deal with it, head on, and not give it any more space in your world.  You have to make changes, you have to face your demons, you have to stop avoiding, you have to see things as they really are, and then do something about it. Over and over lately I keep hearing people say, "I'm not strong enough" or "If I just ignore it, it will go away" or "I am scared to be alone".  Or the one that makes me cringe the most "I give up". It makes me crazy when a otherwise intelligent person, decides that they are not worth fighting for and just accepts whatever life throws at them.  They will go to bat for everyone else, but themselves.  Seriously people, the only person in the world that will ever stand up for you, go to bat for you, is YOU! If you sell yourself out, you don't plant your feet and square your shoulders and say Bring it on!! and handle your business, who will?  Own your life, your world and realize that you are worth fighting for.

Growing up with a bi-polar mother, this was hard for me to grasp when I was younger. It was easier to take the blame, shoulder all responsibility for anything and everything that had gone on, real or imagined. I would go to bat for everyone else, stand up and fight for every underdog I could find. But what I would never do, is fight for myself. I was tough alright, hard as nails on the outside. But I absorbed every body blow that life threw at me, I took it and allowed it to happen, because it was easier. Easier. Yeah, easier for everyone else. Not so much for me. Took me a long time to realize that. Honestly what I realized lately, is that I stand up for me when its not family or people I care about. How weird and back ass wards is that? If some guy is rude to me out in public, or some random person tries to take advantage of me, I handle them. Right in their place they go. However, if its family, then I take it and take it. Never do I correct their misconceptions, or tell them they are wrong. Well, I do now... most of the time. I am still working on it.  But for the longest time, I thought surviving was walking away from all the bad. But then I realized, that sometimes in simply walking away and not handling it, didn't stop anything. That you have to speak up for yourself, you have to toughen up and do what is right for yourself. You have to stop giving up on the one person in this world that should never give up on you, yourself. 

So what if your heart is broken, so what if you afraid, so what if you fear changes... Hearts heal, courage is found and when you face what you fear the most, you adapt. You toughen yourself up and you handle what needs to be handled. There is no giving up, there is no, "I'm not strong enough" there is no ignoring it or taking it because that's easier. Sometimes you have to make a mess, you have to shake things up and sometimes you just have to grab life by the balls and say, I am worth more, I am strong and I will get to where I need to be, because I want to and I will make it happen. Feel that strength start in your belly, feel it grow and learn to trust yourself. 

What you don't do is quit, ever. You survive, you dig deeper than you ever have before, you will find every ounce of strength and courage you will ever need, not in some book, or in anyone else, you will find it within yourself. You do what you have to do, and you do it for yourself. Take that pride and take that sense of accomplishment and use it to build a new foundation on, use your strength, your heart and your survival and make the changes, fight your battles and never, ever give up. Life will come along and deal you some nasty blows from time to time, it will knock you down and hold you there if you let it.  Its ok to take some time to get your bearings, catch your breath, but then, come out swinging.

Never accept defeat. Never accept things will can't change and never ever accept that this is the way life should be. Be the force in your own world and handle your business. 

You all have it in you, you just have to dig a little and find your tough.