Get Your Big Girl Panties On

                Sometimes life is messy. It knocks you down, breaks your heart and
                  kicks you around for good measure. This is when you just gotta
                                get your big girl panties on and deal with it. 
                                                                                           ~J.V Manning

Did you know that it is ok to get mad? That it is ok to get frustrated, sad, and lonely? That there will be days in your lifetime that you just won't be able to find your happy? Has anyone ever told you that this is OK?  Most when they get tired and frustrated tell themselves to "shake it off" "get over it". Or even worse..someone else tells them to "Just get over it". They deny these very pressing feelings because they don't think they should allow them room in their day. A lot of people simply press these feelings down inside and bury them. In reality all this does is cause them to build up and fester. By not dealing with them and letting them out at the time, all you are doing is making things worse in the long run. Denying them does not make them disappear. You can slap a smile on your face and even convince others you are happy. But you know. Somewhere inside you realizes that in truth you are anything but.  There is a phrase that makes me cringe every time I read it. "Fake it til you make it". As if you can fake happiness. Why in the world would you even want to? Wouldn't you rather pull those feelings you have been denying out, face them and deal with them AND then get on to the business of loving life.

Sometimes life is messy. It knocks you down, breaks your heart and kicks you around for good measure. By not allowing yourself time to get your mad on, your sad on or your "holy hell I hate the world" on, you will never get past it. It is like dressing it up, putting some cover up on it and hoping to fool not only the world, but yourself. It just doesn't work. Well, maybe for a time. But there will be something that triggers you and probably the smallest thing ever. But something will trigger you and you will no longer be able to control it. Your negative will then control you. Honestly, it will probably be 100 times harder to deal with later on. If you allow all the "crap" to percolate and to grow, it always seems to get 300% worse than it was initially. By not allowing these emotions to flow out of you, giving them the time they deserve. You are in essence giving them control over your mind and your soul. Even if you tell yourself you are happy!  You can't fake yourself out forever. And it will probably be the poor kid that screwed up your coffee order that will get your wrath.  

I am just jaded enough not to trust someone who is happy all the time. Who radiates sunshine and smiles where ever they go. These are usually the ones I really worry about.  The truth of the matter is sometimes life can be a bitch. Thing is, you can be a bitch right back. This is OK! Gasp! There I said it. It is in writing. If you are feeling frustrated, angry and overwhelmed or sad. Deal with it! Right then. Or as soon as you can get sometime to yourself. Get it out of you as fast as you can. Put on your big girl (or boy) panties and face it. Give yourself time to be anything but happy. Just don't let it consume you.  In reality, denying them as valid, not giving yourself permission to let them flow out of you. They will consume you. They will force themselves out whether you want them to or not. You retain all ultimate control over them as long as you deal with them and let it happen.  If you keep pushing them down inside you, to some back corner of "you". You relinquish all control and hand the reins over. Whether you even realize it or not. 

Thing is, there are probably some very valid reasons why you have got your sad on, your mad on, your frustrated on in the first place. Something or someone has caused this to happen. Chances are these emotions have built up and built up over time. Most days it takes alot to make me angry or mad. Granted there are certain triggers, people mostly, that can make me go zero to bitch mode really quickly. But I have learned to just let these emotions happen. They end on their own. I either walk it off, think about it some or occasionally I will write about it. Anything to get it out of me. I don't have time for it. Some days I get sad. Revelation? No, not really. Everyone does. Maybe something will trigger a memory of a time past, loved one lost or a life event will happen and make me sad. I let it. There are good positive emotions and there are not so positive emotions. Each needs room in your world for a time. You will be surprised how free you feel if you just let them roll. 

I know its not PC to tell you that its ok to get mad or sad or whatever. But it is reality. Some days there will be something that really gets to you. Don't deny yourself this. Identify what made you feel this way. Let your mind flow. Understand yourself and figure out why you reacted the way you did.  Or if it is a situation that consistently happens or something that keeps rearing it's ugly head. This is life trying to tell you it is something you HAVE GOT to deal with. Stop denying yourself the release. 

 Think about it. Break it down. Put on those big girl panties and deal with it. Then and only then, let it go. Be free of it.  Then go back and get your happy on :)