People will show you exactly who they are, by their actions.
They will also show you exactly what you mean to them the same way. Believe them. This is reality.
Your reality will be however you decide to handle it.
I got a phone call from a friend gushing about this new guy. She had met him at the local coffee shop a few weeks ago. Casual conversation over steaming mugs of coffee had sparked mutual interest in each other. Both were single and while neither was actively looking - both realized that they would like to get to know each other more. A chance moment had turned into plans to meet again the following day for another round of java and conversing. She went on about how interesting he was, how his stories had her enthralled and how dashing he was when he smiled. Dimples and all. Not known to be the gushing type - I was slightly amused at my friend. Telling me how much time they had spent together and how excited she was for me to meet him. I was happy for her.
Until I met him.
While the words that flowed effortlessly from his mouth were golden, his eyes never stopped roving the ladies passing by the front window. Continuously checking his cell phone and texting. Spewing forth words of how awesome and how beautiful my friend was and yet he never actually looked at her when he talked. What I saw and what I heard were two totally different things. He claimed to have found the perfect woman for him and yet never stopping his constant appraisal of any female that wondered into his view. He blatantly would stare at his phone while she was talking and never once seemed to actually look at her or really focus on her though she was right in front of him. He talked a lot about himself and yet was completely dismissive when she would tell a funny story about her day or a story of something she and I had done in the past.
His words most definitely did not measure up to his actions.
When I want to get to know someone or I want to know if someone is being honest with me, I listen to their words sure, but mostly, I watch to see what they do. Do they follow through or are their words empty. Do they claim to be a nice person, but yet treat some strangerwho can do nothing for them badly? Do they make empty promises over and over again and never follow through. Kind of like being a child and asking your parents to go to the park, a movie or something you so desperately wanted to do, only to be told - maybe. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. But the tomorrows and the next weeks came and went and you never made it to that park or that movie.
Words become meaningless if there is no action behind them. It is like the "Yes, Dears" - from a husband to his wife, only he has no idea what he is agreeing to because he is paying attention to the game. It is the "nice guy" who is demeaning and rude to a waitress at dinner or the boyfriend that claims to trust you, yet grills you every time you come home. Empty words, meaningless.
Hold on tight here, I am going to lay some truth down on you - It's not an easy one either. When someone tells you something over and over again, then never follows through- they are simply placating you. Maybe because they don't want to hurt your feelings, maybe because it is just not important to them - but it is placating. One of my biggest pet peeves honestly. I would much rather someone tell me what they actually think and plan on doing, even if it is not what I was hoping for, then have them tell me what I want to hear and hope that I forget about it going forward. I don't know about you, but I never forget. People show you their true intentions by their actions. Simple as that. If your wife says to you that she will cut back on her drinking and never does. Well, she really never planned to; she just wanted you off her back about it. If your husband swears he loves you and only you, then you find out he is cheating. He really doesn't love you, nor does he respect you.
Friends that claim to always be there for you, as you are for them, but never seem to be around when you actually need them - are not good friends. Believe in their actions. We must all take the blinders off eventually and see things for what they are. Then do something about it or not. Seriously, you can accept empty words and promises from someone you care about. Just know that there will probably be no follow through and your anger or sadness becomes entirely your fault at that point, because you accepted it.
Actions speak louder than words. For words without action become meaningless. Follow through on promises, do what you say you are going to, be the friend you claim to be. Live with integrity and expect it from those you surround yourself with. Trust your judgment, if you feel like the words being spoken will never be followed through on, you are probably right. If that nice guy you met at the coffee shop has a swivel head watching the ladies or if he doesn't call when he says he will - he probably is just not that into you. If your wife doesn't stop drinking to excess and refuses to get help - there is nothing you can do. You cannot help someone who will not help themselves. If you have a child that tells you that she never has homework - and yet is failing half her classes, maybe you should call the school.
People will show you exactly who they are, by their actions. They will also show you exactly what you mean to them the same way. Believe them. This is reality. Your reality will be however you decide to handle it. If you keep getting angry and hurt, but continue to let it go, well then what does your actions say to them?
Will your words be reflected in your actions?
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