which repeats, again and again; for this is the message given you by
the Gods, the karmic lesson you must learn for this incarnation.
It comes again and again until you have made it part of
your soul and your enduring spirit.
~Mists of Avalon
I am starting to think that I have a Cosmic Karma Kick Me sign taped to my back that only the really ignorant, neurotic, self possessed people can see. Seriously, have you ever had an issue, problem or situation arise over and over and over again, that will surely drive you mad? A situation that regardless of how many times you deal with, stand your ground with or give into, never goes totally away? And isn't it usually one or two people in your life that seem to perpetuate the madness? People, probably family, that you cannot easily walk away from that like to stir the pot and never really let things go? If there is a lesson in this I am really not sure what it is... I mean seriously, when is enough, enough?
Walk away...hell I have run away on a couple of occasions, however, regardless of how far I go.. it seems to follow.. I have tried silence, not taking the bait and letting a certain situation go on without my input, my voice,really past caring at all, hoping that eventually it would stop.. nope, never does. If I turn the tables and confront it, doesn't ever solve it either because then I am participating in their drama and giving them the go ahead to continue. So, when silence doesn't solve it and confronting it doesn't solve it.. and moving to Alaska really isn't in the cards.. what the hell is one supposed to do? All the feel good people of the world say, let it go... release it. I am saying I would love to release it.. it won't go away. When did it become ok to project all of your personal issues onto someone else and make it all on them? Holy hell really? I am a strong, tough chick that has faced a lot of crap in my life.. I have taken care of, learned from and moved on from every damn life lesson that has been thrown at me, why can't other people do the same? Quite frankly I have had enough of people and their drama to last me a lifetime.. what does one have to do to it make it stop.
I know that trying to figure out this life lesson.. is the equivalent of beating my head against a brick wall.. (thought at present time even that sounds like a good idea.) I guess really the only solution is to say, Screw It. Eloquent I know, but in essence that's about all you can do. I am however curious, how do you deal? Do you confront it everytime, ignore it, give in to it??? Let me know.
I shall continue to live my life and try and get that kick me sign off my back....
Otherwise, Alaska is looking pretty good.