Fool Me Once
Trust yourself enough to know that your instincts, your reactions and the tingling on the back of your neck will rarely lead you wrong.
I did something recently that I almost never do. Something so totally unlike me that looking back over the situation, really makes me shake my head and feel like a fool. It is not a feeling I like. It is not one I am accustomed to either. I am a lot of things but a fool normally isn't one of them. Well, except for maybe this time and ok maybe a few other times over the years, but I do not normally allow myself to be made a fool of. Especially when I did the one thing I know better than to do.
I ignored my gut feeling.
I also ignored what I have dubbed my "spidey sense" - that tingling at the back of your neck when you know something isn't right, someone isn't being truthful or maybe you have stepped into an unsafe environment and though you can't see the threat, you can feel it. I always, ALWAYS, listen to my gut. I always pay attention to my spidey sense and rarely am I bamboozled by someone. It happens, I know that. But normally not to me. I always trust my instincts and I am normally right. Except of course when I disregard them. Which I did. Which looking back on is all sorts of a rookie mistake that I should know better than to make.
But make it I did.
Apparently the universe decided I needed a life lesson, a reminder if you will, to trust my instincts and stop ignoring something just because I don't want to see it. The only positive thing to come out of the whole mess was it got me thinking. About all the times in my life someone has spoken the words -"I knew it the whole time, but didn't want to see it," or " In my gut I knew something was wrong but I ignored it, now I am picking up the pieces." Or, and this is a big one, "I should have trusted my instincts."
Which translates into - I should have trusted myself.
How many of you honestly trust yourself? Do you trust your own judgment; trust your reactions, your gut instincts and your own version of the spidey sense? Or do you find that you are constantly second guessing yourself, listening more to what others are telling you and trusting in their judgment more than you trust in yourself to be right? It is a question that requires a bit of soul searching and being willing to take a hard look within.
The thing of it is, if something gets your gut instincts fired up, your spidey sense tingling and you refuse to see, won't allow yourself to see or pretend not to see the red flags or the cause of what is triggering it all, for whatever reason, you are then responsible in part for what happens next. This was the case with me this past week. I choose to ignore certain comments that were said, look pass behaviors that were a clear indication of the type of person I was dealing with, all because I wanted so much to believe in him. I wanted to help this person with his business because he helped people in a way that inspired me. I wanted to believe in him, so I ignored the warning signs and ignored what my gut was telling me. I allowed him to bamboozle me. I choose not to see things for what they were and it cost me a lot of time, money and peace of mind.
How many times in your life have you done this same thing? Maybe facing the truth was too hard, too much to bear. Maybe you didn't want to handle the fallout or felt you weren't strong enough to face it. You silence your instincts, turn a blind eye and pretend all is what you want it to be.
By not listening to your gut instincts, not heeding the spidey sense and not seeing things for what they really are, you are selling yourself and your life short. Who wants to live a lie? Or live with the fear that some day will come when you can't avoid the truth any longer, can't avoid seeing things for what they really are and all of a sudden, BAM! It’s in your face whether you are ready or not.
Trust yourself enough to know that your instincts, your reactions and the tingling on the back of your neck will rarely lead you wrong. I don't care if it is among strangers, out shopping with the girls or a chance meeting with a new potential date. I don't care if it happens with someone you have been close to, married to or dating for years. I don't care if it is your child, your neighbor or some salesman at the door - trust your instincts. Value your judgment and listen to YOURSELF! Stop turning a blind eye and start seeing things for how they actually are and not how you really wish they were. It may hurt, your heart may break, you may feel like a fool but at least you listened to yourself. It will surprise you how much heart ache and misery you will avoid in life once you start trusting your instincts.
Follow your gut.
8/1/2013 02:03:24 pm
I grew up with people telling me that my gut was lying to me, that the hairs standing up on the back of my neck were my imagination. That what I felt, was not the truth. As an adult, it has been very difficult to trust my instincts, to know that I can be right about a feeling, to have my senses respected. So I have trusted people I shouldn't of, I have told people things that were later used against me. Bad habits are very hard to break.
8/1/2013 02:21:20 pm
I understand that completely. Took me awhile to appreciate that my instincts were usually right. But how powerful I felt to realize that by trusting myself and my judgements, I had control over my own life. You will get there Terri - one step at a time. Then one day you will not even think twice and will follow your gut. I know it will come.
8/1/2013 10:24:59 pm
Thanks for sharing this. It helps us that have made similar mistakes to realize we are not alone. My divorce will be final in 2 weeks and looking back I can see so clearly all the warning signs I had, but ignored, because I didn't want confrontation and wanted things to work out. I'm trusting myself from this day forth!
8/2/2013 01:08:56 am
I love the last line of this comment - Trust Yourself Teresa from now until forever!!! May the future be bright, may you see clearly and may you always trust yourself to have your best interests at heart.
8/3/2013 11:43:10 am
8/2/2013 05:36:16 pm
Jenn and Teresa ~ you are both spot on. I'm wondering if either of you have been abused ~ physical, emotional, sexual; mental. I am a survivor of all FOUR, mostly by family. My type typically tries to trust, to be accepted, etc. I have a master's degree and am National Board Certified in English/ literacy. I tell you this not to brag, but to help you understand that I should be SO PROUD of these major accomplishments, I'm not. I still feel ugly, which I'm not,and I still feel insecure and lesser than because of my past. To ALL of YOU, be confident and proud of who you have become. Listen to the hair on the back of your neck standing straight at attention; LISTEN to your GUT. Through all of my crises, the hair on my neck and my intuitive GUT have never, ever been wrong. Slow down and LISTEN to your inner self, always. I'm getting better GO FOR IT; BELIEVE IN YOURSELF; you're way better than you give yourself credit for. Enough said. PERIOD. <3
8/2/2013 12:25:34 am
I call mine "my little voice" (think Magnum P I). I think listening to that little voice has alot to do with self-respect and self-confidence. I know, for me, when I am feeling less confident I ignore that little voice. Thank you Jenn, this was what I needed to see this morning as I am in the middle of making some life changing decisions today.
8/2/2013 01:11:29 am
8/2/2013 09:07:03 am
I can always trust my gut and have been able to do that for as far back as I can remember. When I ignore it, it always bites me.
Perfect timing for me to read this. I just recently sent notice to end a writing gig. The decision was not an easy one, in my situation I feel guilty turning down work. But my instincts have been telling me it was not the right situation for me. Reading this reassures me that following my gut is a better idea than suffering through work I'm not happy with and sticking it out hoping it will improve will probably not be worth it. Thanks for the inspiring words.
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