Eliminating all that no longer serves a purpose is a powerful life diet plan. From food to family members; to unhealthy situations or bad marriages, beating yourself up and self-hating, swallowing words and hiding emotions, if it’s unhealthy, if it’s not good for your heart and soul – eliminate it from your world. You do have the power. ~J.V. Manning I can almost smell it. I most definitely can imagine one in front of me. Oooozing tasty goodness. I don't need it, but I want it. It's not good for me, but I don't care. The moments spent getting acquainted with its devilish deliciousness would make me content and happy. I don't think about what will come after. I only know what I want now. I want a cheeseburger. A big one, slathered in melting cheese, topped with caramelized onions and ranch dressing. I may want the cheeseburger, but I won't have the cheeseburger. Because, alas, I am a good wife who has jumped in with both feet to do an elimination type diet with her husband. Ridding our lives of everything holy, I mean tasty, and dining on mostly air for the foreseeable future. Okay, I may be slightly exaggerating there - I love salad and fruits. I drink a ton of water, but I also love cheeseburgers and steaks. Sometimes we love things that aren’t good for us. There are many things we should only have in moderation, yet more often than not, we over indulge in and then beat ourselves up over it. Actually, this is more of a life change than a diet. I hate the word diet. It implies you're not good enough as you are. However, life changes are something I can totally get behind. When something is broken or not working, such as my husband's health, you implement changes to make it better, figuring out what works and what doesn't, what you can live with and what you can't live without. Finding what works for you and what no longer serves a purpose in your life. I've decided to get a bit aggressive with the elimination phase – I’m not just getting rid of unhealthy food, I am eliminating unhealthy thoughts, unhealthy situations, and unhealthy relationships. I am ridding myself of unhealthy actions and reactions. I plan on not only losing physical weight and getting healthier but to also lose everything that no longer serves a purpose in my life. I figure it’s time to also focus on the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders – since the dawn of time. So, I’m chucking all the baggage out to the curb once and for all. Eliminating all the detritus of life's crap that has built up - is powerfully freeing. I feel lighter already. I've made the conscious decision to simplify life. All facets of my life. From what I have in my home, to what I eat, think and surround myself with - be that people or situations. I have lived long enough to know a few things, I've been through enough to know a few more and it's high time to put it all to use. I wrote a piece recently called; "I'm Over "Good Enough" I Want More" and it sparked something inside of me. My voice of reason shot back and said: "Well, if that's the case, don't just write about it - LIVE IT." That inner voice can be snarky as hell at times, but this time around - she's right. A life diet. Shedding unnecessary crap and filling life with people, moments and experiences that make me a better person. A heart-healthy diet filled with the richness of spontaneous laughter, memorable moments and loads of love. I am going to exercise my imagination and run with my thoughts. I am going to weight train my own personal power. Replacing those unhealthy sentences like: "Yes, I will even though I don't want to" and "No, it's totally okay that you put me through hell, I'm over it" and replace them with healthier bullshit free alternatives like; "Thank you, but I will pass" and "I'm sorry you're feeling guilty about what you did, it wasn't okay and I no longer have room in my life for you. Best of luck!" I am going to resist the temptation to stay in situations because leaving would seem rude or ungrateful or because I feel I must out of a misguided sense of duty and not feel guilty about it at all. I am going to walk off the excess anger when it arises, instead of holding on to or swallowing it inside of my soul. ![]() I am going to drop a few hundred pounds as I let a few people go, as well. There won't be a big scene. I probably won't say a word. I will just promise myself not to let them pull me into their drama any longer. If they should ask, I'll just say I'm on a diet and am trying to lose a few pounds of negativity and stress. I know it's not them who is changing - it's me. I've just reached a point in life where I have settled into myself. I've learned that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I've learned that boundaries are healthy and vital in living a happy life. I've learned enough to know that I will give of myself fully to anyone who needs me, as long as they are doing something, anything to help themselves at the same time. I've learned the power of the word no. I have also learned the power of saying yes and accepting new challenges and opportunities, even while scared to death. I'm also adding - explaining myself - to the Elimination Life Diet. Especially to those who judge me before talking to me, before knowing me or walking beside me for a while. Let them think what they will. I've eliminated the need to care and I feel ten pounds lighter already. People are going to judge. People are always going to assuming the worst or blame you for things you had nothing to do with. Let them. They can carry the weight of their assumptions from here on out - I don't have to. I have learned that swallowing my words is elevating my caloric intake and that negates this life change. So, I've stopped. I may not say them out loud or write them for public consumption, but I won't be adding those calories to my waist anymore. I may journal them in my private books, I may speak them out loud with all the force of my soul to an empty room, but I will swallow them no longer. Playing small no longer serves me. This also holds true for my emotions. If I want to cry, I will cry and think of it as losing water weight. If I want to laugh out loud, I will because it fills my soul with a healthy dose of awesome. If I am pissed off and angry I will allow those emotions their space too. They are valid emotions and deserve to be paid attention to. Then, I will steam them out like I do with the brown rice and let them go. They are a bit fattening if held onto for too long. ![]() I am eliminating the need to react to other people's drama. I am not responsible for them, I don't have to suffer their consequences or deal with the fall out of their choices or decisions. So, unless it directly affects me - it's going on the "List of things to avoid because they aren't good for my heart or happiness." Everyone is in the middle of learning lessons meant for their own lives and if I keep stepping in to fix things or compensate for them, I will add back on the ten pounds I lost giving up the need to explain myself. I am not responsible for other people's actions, however, I am totally responsible for my reactions to them. I need to be mindful of this because I am a "fixer" and sometimes I can't resist the temptation to help someone who won't help themselves. It's kinda like the cheeseburger. Eliminating all that no longer serves a purpose is a powerful life diet plan. From food to family members; to unhealthy situations or bad marriages, beating yourself up and self-hating, swallowing words and hiding emotions, if it’s unhealthy, if it’s not good for your heart and soul – eliminate it from your world. You do have the power. You do deserve it. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. That serves nothing but feeding that vicious cycle of self-loathing which will remain a hungry bastard for as long as you allow. Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. Inside and out. Let go of any part of you that doesn't believe in it.
8 Comments
Lise-Marie
8/9/2015 12:20:19 pm
Love this. I am going to do my best to rid myself of those activities i do not want to do but do because i feel guilty. The biggest one is being around family when i would rather not. I have to channel my inner 2 year old and say No and never stop.
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Random Jenn
8/9/2015 01:20:51 pm
Or channel you inner badass and stand up for yourself because you deserve it. You are amazing and I know that you will find your way and your strength more and more every day!
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Margie
8/10/2015 06:22:17 am
I'm 69 and I've begon eliminating those things that are destructive to my wellbeing, including family members who haven't responded to my life or show interest in me. Enough of cheeseburgers! Your posting of support means a lot for me. Thank you for being there for me and others.
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Random Jenn
8/10/2015 11:50:28 am
Go you!! I am excited to read this and that you are taking care of you! I am pleased this piece resonated with you and you got something from it. It is such a privilege to have you and all the rest a part of my world. Thank you.
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Maria down under
8/10/2015 09:41:18 am
Jenn ... im sure your living in my head!!! what you are talking about is hsppening now and ive never heard it attributed to weight and it makes so muchvsense ... why do i swallow the 50 pounds and get bigger only to have others not know the truth and not hurt their feelings ... Jenn love your writing .. as always you have touched my soul xx
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Random Jenn
8/10/2015 11:53:33 am
You probably don't want to live in my head.. it's exhausting and never shuts off haha :)
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Maria
8/10/2015 09:32:01 pm
ha ha :)))
Ness
8/11/2015 06:05:17 am
Jenn, my hero/heroine! I live for your next post because I know it will be another step to help the person in this body become me. I am 61 widow since December married to my best friend, my touchstone and I miss him so much. I have 2 adult daughter's living with me and all I want to do is get my disability approved so I can have a Tiny House built and my dog and I can pull it behind my truck and be free. Visit friends. See the mountains and ocean. So I am initializing my house and my mind so I can feel better in mind and spirit. Jennifer, you have helped me so much. Thank you. Please keep on writing and wishing you perseverance on your journey. Stephen Covey said, "Begin with the end in mind." It helps. Ness
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