I want a cheeseburger.
A big one, slathered in melting cheese, topped with caramelized onions and ranch dressing.
I may want the cheeseburger, but I won't have the cheeseburger. Because, alas, I am a good wife who has jumped in with both feet to do an elimination type diet with her husband. Ridding our lives of everything holy, I mean tasty, and dining on mostly air for the foreseeable future. Okay, I may be slightly exaggerating there - I love salad and fruits. I drink a ton of water, but I also love cheeseburgers and steaks.
Sometimes we love things that aren’t good for us. There are many things we should only have in moderation, yet more often than not, we over indulge in and then beat ourselves up over it.
Finding what works for you and what no longer serves a purpose in your life.
I've decided to get a bit aggressive with the elimination phase – I’m not just getting rid of unhealthy food, I am eliminating unhealthy thoughts, unhealthy situations, and unhealthy relationships. I am ridding myself of unhealthy actions and reactions. I plan on not only losing physical weight and getting healthier but to also lose everything that no longer serves a purpose in my life. I figure it’s time to also focus on the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders – since the dawn of time. So, I’m chucking all the baggage out to the curb once and for all.
I feel lighter already.
I've made the conscious decision to simplify life. All facets of my life. From what I have in my home, to what I eat, think and surround myself with - be that people or situations. I have lived long enough to know a few things, I've been through enough to know a few more and it's high time to put it all to use.
I wrote a piece recently called; "I'm Over "Good Enough" I Want More" and it sparked something inside of me. My voice of reason shot back and said: "Well, if that's the case, don't just write about it - LIVE IT." That inner voice can be snarky as hell at times, but this time around - she's right.
A life diet.
Shedding unnecessary crap and filling life with people, moments and experiences that make me a better person. A heart-healthy diet filled with the richness of spontaneous laughter, memorable moments and loads of love. I am going to exercise my imagination and run with my thoughts. I am going to weight train my own personal power. Replacing those unhealthy sentences like: "Yes, I will even though I don't want to" and "No, it's totally okay that you put me through hell, I'm over it" and replace them with healthier bullshit free alternatives like; "Thank you, but I will pass" and "I'm sorry you're feeling guilty about what you did, it wasn't okay and I no longer have room in my life for you. Best of luck!" I am going to resist the temptation to stay in situations because leaving would seem rude or ungrateful or because I feel I must out of a misguided sense of duty and not feel guilty about it at all. I am going to walk off the excess anger when it arises, instead of holding on to or swallowing it inside of my soul.
I know it's not them who is changing - it's me. I've just reached a point in life where I have settled into myself. I've learned that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I've learned that boundaries are healthy and vital in living a happy life. I've learned enough to know that I will give of myself fully to anyone who needs me, as long as they are doing something, anything to help themselves at the same time. I've learned the power of the word no. I have also learned the power of saying yes and accepting new challenges and opportunities, even while scared to death.
I'm also adding - explaining myself - to the Elimination Life Diet. Especially to those who judge me before talking to me, before knowing me or walking beside me for a while. Let them think what they will. I've eliminated the need to care and I feel ten pounds lighter already. People are going to judge. People are always going to assuming the worst or blame you for things you had nothing to do with. Let them. They can carry the weight of their assumptions from here on out - I don't have to.
I have learned that swallowing my words is elevating my caloric intake and that negates this life change. So, I've stopped. I may not say them out loud or write them for public consumption, but I won't be adding those calories to my waist anymore. I may journal them in my private books, I may speak them out loud with all the force of my soul to an empty room, but I will swallow them no longer. Playing small no longer serves me. This also holds true for my emotions. If I want to cry, I will cry and think of it as losing water weight. If I want to laugh out loud, I will because it fills my soul with a healthy dose of awesome. If I am pissed off and angry I will allow those emotions their space too. They are valid emotions and deserve to be paid attention to. Then, I will steam them out like I do with the brown rice and let them go. They are a bit fattening if held onto for too long.
Eliminating all that no longer serves a purpose is a powerful life diet plan. From food to family members; to unhealthy situations or bad marriages, beating yourself up and self-hating, swallowing words and hiding emotions, if it’s unhealthy, if it’s not good for your heart and soul – eliminate it from your world. You do have the power. You do deserve it. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. That serves nothing but feeding that vicious cycle of self-loathing which will remain a hungry bastard for as long as you allow.
Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. Inside and out. Let go of any part of you that doesn't believe in it.