If I Knew Then What I Know Now.

        You will face life lessons. You will build your character from the very ground up 
               and you will be in control. Remember your strength, remember your
                   integrity and always remain true to the one person in the world 
                                          you can always count on- yourself.    
                                                                                                                             ~J.V. Manning

Have you ever thought about going back in time and having a conversation with yourself at 18? What would say? What pearls of wisdom would you tell yourself? Would you issue warnings or draw a map of the future? Would you gloss over the bad and focus on the good? What would you say to you?

I thought a bit on this last night. I am coming to a transition period in life, a new chapter if you will. Thus, I have been strolling down memory lane.  Mentally strolling along roads that I took to get to where I am today. Crossroads I met. Decisions I made. Trials I faced and happiness I experienced. The good, the bad and the ugly.  I have had a lot of life lessons in the past 18 years.  I am finding at the close of this chapter of my life; I am tired. Mentally tired. But excited at the possibilities.  The other morning I was thinking that if there was a way to go back and talk with myself at 18-maybe I could have avoided  some of it. But then I just shook my head when I realized a truth.  I would love to sit down with myself back then. But not to give that girl a map to avoid life's pitfalls. 

No, I would sit down with her and tell her this;

Nothing last forever. People will come in and out of your life. Some will hurt you, some will help you. Some will tear at the very fabric of your soul, while there will be a few to help you heal. You will laugh. You will cry. You will get angry. You will make right and wrong decisions. You will live with the consequences.  You will discover in the process of living what you are made of. There will be times of great despair and times of great happiness. You will hit rock bottom and make your way to the top. You will be heartbroken and you will break hearts. You will be broke and you will be flush. Nothing last forever. Happy will fade to sad, sad to angry, angry to understanding. You will face life lessons. You will build your character from the very ground up and you will be in control. Remember your strength, remember your integrity and always remain true to the one person in the world you can always count on- yourself.   

I would look myself directly in the eye and leave her with this:

Never be afraid to see things as they are. Never dull your shine. Take each lesson that life hands to you and learn it. Incorporate it into the fabric of your soul and know that someday, you will use them to help others. Never doubt your place in this world. Just remember it is completely up to you to make it. Be strong. Live first for yourself. Be right with you. Then be there for others.  Second guessing yourself gets you no where. Trust your gut, trust your instincts. Never lose your fight. Be strong. You will get to exactly where you need to be. Trust in that.

We all have things we would have liked to have avoided. But look at it like this. Overspending taught you to budget. The guy you shouldn't have dated; taught you what to look for. Allowing one to control you; taught you the power of your voice when you stood up for yourself. All the bad, all the mistakes, all the life lessons- give you the one thing you weren't born with. Confidence. Confidence in yourself and the belief that you can overcome anything. Life teaches you lessons to get you to where you need to be.  They hurt. They force you to see and feel things that you really didn't want to. But all of them got you to where you are today. And where you will be tomorrow. 

So stop looking at your past as something you wish you could have avoided. Look to it instead for what it taught you. Now take those lessons and put them to use. If you are not happy- do something about it. If someone is taking advantage of you- find your voice and stand up for yourself. Take a life time of mistakes and lessons and own them. They are your story and a powerful one at that. 

I am glad that I can't go back. I needed to learn and to grow. To make mistakes and bad decisions. Because as this new chapter of life begins, I am equipped. I know that nothing will break me. That nothing last forever. I appreciate what I have, what I have built and what I will do in the future. I understand me. I know that I did the best I could with what I had.

 Looking back I wouldn't change a thing. 

Read some pearls of wisdom others would tell their 18 year old selves.