If You Always Do What You've Always Done...

Be brave. All of us are just making it up as we go. We learn by trial and error. We learn to listen to our instincts. We learn that we deserve the very best life has to offer. We also learn, it is completely up to us to make the needed changes.
~J.V. Manning

Did you know that you can make a fresh new start anytime you want?

Fresh new start. Brand new beginning. New chapter. The thought of these either fill you with excitement or fear, maybe both simultaneously. Though, not all fresh starts are scary and not all new beginnings come on the heels of bad endings. Sometimes it is just because something in your life has run its course and it's time to reach for a new level. Of course, there are times when new starts follow something tragic, bad, or a dark stretch of time in your life. Regardless, if something inside you is saying you need to change, alter or completely discard something - you probably do. Ignoring what your instinct is saying, probably shouting, to you - does you no good, for there comes a point when you can no longer silence it with stubbornness. You will always come to a fork in the road when your direction will be determined by one of two things - your fear or your courage.

You feel it. You know it. Now, what are you going to do about it?

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Personally, I have had thousands of fresh new starts, because to me, every single morning when I wake up, is one. Albeit on a much smaller scale of some of the more life altering ones but a good habit to get into nonetheless.  I have taught and trained myself over the course of my life to finish each day and be done with it. Every night, before laying my head down to sleep, I will do a review of my day. I will see what I did well. I will see what mistakes I made. I will identify areas I know I need to work on. If I am angry, sad, or wound-up about something that occurred - I spend time figuring out why it hurt me, why it angered me, or why I carried the emotions around the event with me throughout my day, once I figure out the why of it, I will honor my feelings, figure out their lessons, and then simply- let it go. These negative emotions do not serve the greater good in my life, my mental state, or heart. So, why the hell would I hang onto them? It is hard sometimes. But, I have found, it does get easier with practice - promise. So many of the day-to-day crap we deal with gets lodged in our heads and trapped in our thoughts, not because we want it there, but because we feel like we need to examine it over-and-over again, which means living it over-and-over again.  The only things I want in my head- are what I put there. The actions of others, I have no control over. I do however, have complete control over how I handle it. You do too.

An amazing byproduct of living as if each new day is a fresh new start and honestly, one I never really anticipated, is that it prepares one for the BIG new chapters in life. It gives you the life training which can be applied to the much bigger moments, when a fresh new start is being built using the pieces of your soul, by cause of, at some point, something in your life falling apart - you lost someone, you lost your job, your spouse left, whatever it was in your life that changed and you weren't ready or wanting it to, and all you are left standing with are scattered pieces of what once was, to use to build what will be, going forward.

Every day that you woke up, got out of bed, and faced work, family or the world - took courage. Without even realizing it, you were training yourself to be able to handle all the big things you will come up against. Trust me here, there will be, if not already, big things. It's life. You can handle them for sure, no doubt in my mind, if you do not let your fear hold you back.

Fear. Fear of new. Fear of getting hurt again. Fear of falling on your face and not getting it right the first few steps into your new chapter. Fear holding you mired in the middle of that proverbial fork in the road and causing you to not make the decision to change your life. You are not a coward. You know what you want. You want to be happy. You want to live life and dream and challenge yourself. You want to reach heights you never dreamed possible. You want to go home at night and feel safe. You want to feel accomplished. You want to be comfortable in your own skin and motivated to go higher, do more, and actually live the life you were meant to. You want authentic relationships and people in your life who respect and love you. 

The first step in reaching all of these amazing things in life is letting go of the past. The only way the past can hurt you - is when you relive it over-and-over again or you bring it into your now, into your current relationships or situation, and allow yourself to hold your yesterdays responsible for your today.  The second phase is using your fear as your motivation. You already know what you don't want in your new beginning, use your experiences to guide you in making better choices, allow yourself to really see things that have happened in the past and alter your direction and life based on that. If you don't want to drink any more, you don't put yourself into a situation where there is drinking. Stay away from bars and parties for a while. If you're continually being hurt by the people you date or get into a relationship with- STOP DATING. Not forever but for a while.  Being alone is not a bad thing.  It will give you space to figure out why you get yourself involved with certain types of people or if you already know, time to heal the broken part that thinks that is all you can get or deserve. Then, when you are ready, make better choices and try dating someone completely different. When you always do what you always have done - you get the same friggin results over-and-over again. Smarten up. Let your experiences guide you into BETTER choices.


Hint: Better=different

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The key you use to unlock the door to your new beginning, also has the ability to lock the door on the past. Leave all the garbage, crap, life junk, and useless thoughts, feelings and baggage - locked behind that door. Take with you the lessons, the memories and your courage, however fleeting it may feel, and start fresh.  Be brave. All of us are just making it up as we go. We learn by trial and error. We learn to listen to our instincts. We learn that we deserve the very best life has to offer. We also learn, it is completely up to us to make the needed changes. It is within your control to make the adjustments and to find the courage to start fresh.

What are you waiting for?