Remember, the ones who know the least about you -
will always be the ones with the most to say. Let them talk.
People make assumptions about my life. They assume they know why I do, say or behave the way I do. A few will go so far as to say that they know me better than I know myself. I know of one that even keeps a file on me, she believes that her understanding of my life, actions and decisions far exceeds my own. She honestly thinks that she knows my story better than I do.
I could defend myself, actions or decisions. I could. But, I won't. Because to explain myself would make it seem like I actually cared what she thinks. I don't. It would also play into her fantasy that she is entitled to an explanation. She isn't. Never has been. Does this stop the intrusions into my world - nope. Doesn't stop the needless potshots hoping for a reaction either. I just do what I have always done. Ignore her. Hoping eventually she will tire of the need to be privy to the inner workings of my world.
People who make assumptions about you and your life often do so in hopes that you will offer an explanation that will give them a glimpse of a life they secretly covet or show them that you require their approval in what you do. It's a control thing. A power play. My advice, don't play the game. The more you feel the need to explain yourself, the more power you give away. You are telling someone else to judge your decisions, actions or behavior in hopes that it mirrors the true reason behind doing what you did.
People like to think the worst about others, judging everything someone else does. Normally, so far off base that when you hear what they say about you, you feel like you have to explain yourself. Why you did what you did, said what you did or didn't do for that matter. Most people want others to understand them and seek approval from outside sources. You do not have to do this. The only person you need to be right with, is yourself. Let them think the worst if they want to, resist the urge to explain yourself. Explaining yourself only makes them feel entitled to know everything you do. They aren't. Unless you want to bring certain people into the inner circle of your life, and those are the ones who do not require an explanation about anything, then what anyone thinks, or thinks they have a right to know is absolutely ridiculous. It would be like explaining to the guy ringing up your groceries why you felt the need to buy that double chocolate cupcake. It is none of his business. None of their business.
Let people think what they want - you can't control that. You do not need their approval. You do not need them to understand you. You do not need to explain yourself to them. They are not entitled to the inner workings of your mind. They have no privilege to your thoughts or actions. If they get you, great. If they don't, screw 'em. Stop giving your power away. Stop feeling the need to explain your actions. You wanted that double chocolate cupcake. So you bought it. The end. You deal with you on it. Eat the damn cupcake and when someone looks to you and asks; “Do you really need that cupcake?" Look them square in the eye and reply; "What's it to you?"
Be confident in your abilities to make good decisions and your abilities to own bad ones. Do what you want to do. Be in line with your beliefs, your heart and soul. Your life is just that - yours. Let them judge you. Let them make assumptions. You know your heart. You know your motivating factors. You know your thoughts. If you are good, then they should be good. If they aren't - nothing you could do or say will matter to those types anyway. So, why bother?
The only one you need to be good with at the end of the day - is you. Resist the need to explain yourself. Be confident. Own your life. Trust yourself. If you need approval go look in the mirror and remind yourself of your reasons.
Remember, the ones who know the least about you - will always be the ones with the most to say. Let them talk.
Just be you and be happy - it drives them crazy.
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