Just A Matter of Time.

         Each moment we have in life is a gift. A gift of time that is guaranteed to no one
                 and more precious than gold. We need to spend more of it on things 
                                     that matter and less on things that do not. 
                                                                                                                                     ~J.V. Manning

Time. 
Time knows no prejudice. It cares not what color skin you have, what nationality you are or your social status. You cannot buy time nor can you put some away for a rainy day. The rich and the poor have it in equal amount. One cannot slow it down or speed it up. The seconds tick away to minutes and minutes into hours and the only control you will ever have over it- is what you fill it with. 

Back a few years ago when I was sitting with my grandmother in her last few moments of life, I avoided looking at the clock or any thing that reminded me of those precious seconds we had left ticking away. I willed time to slow down with all my might.  Over the summer while sitting in the waiting room at the hospital when my husband was having what could be life altering surgery- I willed the hands of the clock to go faster. Needing answers I sat there and wished it would speed up and have the surgery over.  Both times I remember hearing the tick-tock of each passing second in my mind. Knowing that regardless of what I did time would continue on- steady. I was reminded of exactly how precious each second of every day is. Every day. Not just those moments in life with so much hanging in the balance.

Time is guaranteed to no one. Each moment we get in life is a gift. Our time on earth could run out at any minute regardless if we are ready or not. But yet we go through each and every day making promises to ourselves, to our family and friends- when we have more time we will spend it with them. When we have "more time" we will do things that actually matter. Making memories, laughing or just simply sitting with the people we love in silence. We say things like when "time slows down", "when I get more time" or "some time". We are constantly making promises that we don't know if we can keep. We work, we run and we constantly go around in circles never taking a moment to ask ourselves- is it worth it?

We would never run out and spend $1,000 on a purchase without seriously thinking it through. Why then do we squander minutes without a second thought? 

People say "time heals all wounds" or "just give it time" to someone that has experienced something they need to come to peace with.  Time does not heal wounds. Time does not make anything better. We do. Time does not make hurt go away. Nor does it heal our internal wounds. All time does is put some distance between the then and the now and leaves the rest up to us. If we spend all of our time hurt, sad, angry and depressed- we will never get it back. As every second you spend looking towards your past is one more second of your now you have lost. The past is just that- past. Those moments are gone and those moments you struggle with- only have power to hurt you if you continue to let it. 

As I have grown older I have come to appreciate Time more. That hour in the morning when I first wake up, when the house is silent and I am beholden to no one. That hour of the day is just mine. I treasure it, covet it and understand exactly how important it is. I go to work every day and handle the business of life as all of you do. But what I am slowly realizing is that I need to spend my time like I do my hard earned money- consciously and with thought. I need to carve time out of my day for the important things. Laughter. Fun. Making memories with the people I love. I need to dedicate time to the things that matter most to me. Writing and creating. Sitting next to the ocean. Snuggled up to my husband to just listen to his heart beat. I need to spend my life in the now. Not in yesterday or last year or too much in tomorrow. Right now. Because right now is all I have got. 

Time seems to fly by so fast. But in truth- time is nothing but steady and consistent.  Seconds into minutes, minutes into hours and hours into days. There are never any surprises, no bonus hours in a day. Nothing is guaranteed except that it passes us by whether we want it to or not. Our time is more precious than money- more precious than gold. We need to spend it wisely and enjoy it.