Letting Go of Letting Go.

 I am tired of letting things go. By letting them go and swallowing my words because it is easier than calling someone I care about out  on how their behavior
 hurts me, angers me or that I feel disrespects me- I am in essence
giving them permission to continue. 
~J.V. Manning

On my drive home there is a stretch of road that is two lanes for a mile or so. At the end of this stretch, the driving lane continues on straight and the left lane is to turn left. It never fails that the lane to go straight backs up at the time I am heading home from work. It also never fails that at least 2 cars will shoot past the line of traffic and force their way in. The drivers that jump the line and force their way into traffic see only their needs, wants and are in their own little world. They carelessly disregard every one waiting. I have narrowly avoided daily collisions because someone felt that they could force their needs on me and I either need to swerve out of their way or risk getting run over.  I get irritated every time it happens. Not because I may have to sit through another light, but because someone is forcing their will, their decisions and their behavior on me and I have to accept it or risk an accident.

Not OK on this stretch of road. Also not acceptable in life. 

Family members, friends, coworkers, even neighbors force their needs, their wants and their actions on you. If it is something that you do not agree with, validate or condone, you are still forced to simply- accept them, challenge them or just let it go.  Accepting them is of course the easiest route to take. But what if you don't? What if what they are doing, saying or not doing goes against your need or want? What if what they are doing is something you have asked them not to? When their actions directly affect you and yet you are either not consulted on the matter or if you are and you disagree they just go ahead with what they wanted all along? Do you challenge them or just let it go? I think most of us time and time again take the easy road and just let it go. We get labeled if we challenge too much as mouthy, difficult, bitchy or just plan unaccommodating.  But if it is something that happens over and over again and you get disregarded for another's wants or actions- when do you put your foot down and say no more?

Probably when you snap.

I don't what has gotten into me lately. I think that I have hit my limit of just letting stuff go. Gasp! Did I just say that? What will people think? I may get called difficult. I may even get called bitchy. But oddly enough at this point in time, I am OK with that. What changed? No idea. Well that is not completely the truth. I have some idea. I am tired of letting things go. By letting them go and swallowing my words because it is easier than calling someone I care about out  on how their behavior hurts me, angers me or that I feel disrespects me- I am in essence giving them permission to continue. 

Well that and the fact I'm just over it.

Growing up with a severely bi-polar mother, I perfected the art of placating.  Of shelving what I wanted, needed or felt in order to keep the peace. Always trying to avoid the ultimate fight that would ensue if I actually stood my ground about something that mattered to me. It was easier to just let it go. I find now that I am done always placating everyone else. Sometimes it is appropriate of course. I don't need to always get my way or what I may want. But when it comes to something I feel strongly about. Or if it is something a person does over and over again even after I speak my mind- I just walk away. Completely.

The only people that deserve a place in your life are the ones that hear you, that respect you and the ones that don't force you to either swerve out of their way or risk a collision. It simply isn't worth it.  I hit my limit it appears slowly over the past couple of months. If I speak up about something I feel strongly about and I am consistently disregarded by anyone- well then they do not deserve a place in my life.

I am letting go of letting go.  If that makes me a difficult, opinionated and mouthy, well then I guess  that just means I am doing something right. I am doing something right for me.

You should too.