One will find strength and character on their journey and not while thinking about the journey and one must get off their butt in order to develop both, as well as glean
any knowledge needed, to get to where they want to be.
You cannot help those who will not help themselves. You cannot make someone else see clearly what needs to be done if their eyes are constantly shut to the possibilities. You cannot make someone become a better human being unless that someone wants to. You can lead someone to thought but you can't make them think.
People need to figure out one of life's greatest truths...
If you want - you must do.
Repeat after me: What I want out of life I can have but I MUST DO the work to get there.
I am the type of person that if I do not know something and I find either I need this knowledge to go further or I need this knowledge to have a deeper appreciation and understanding, I will research and ask questions until I get it. If I find I need a particular skill in order to make something I want happen - I learn the skill. If I find something in life I do not understand or have never heard about before - I look into it. I will read, research, and study to make myself understand. I put the work in because I want to be a better person, understand more, or get further along in my life.
If I find that something is troubling me and weighing on my soul - I can either choose to ignore it and hope it goes away on its own or I can put it directly in front of me and spend the time needed to make peace and move on from it. I will always confront it head on and spend the time needed to make peace with it. Why? Because to ignore it makes it worse and the time I spend with my soul weighted down is time lost where I could have been doing something awesome. If I am to get better, I must do the work to get there. To do the work means to make friends with my fears and sadness, and then banish them from the realm of Jenn.
If there is something wrong in my life - I fix it. If I can't fix it or choose not to - I let it go and move on. No, it is not easy. Sometimes it hurts like hell. But, if I want any sort of life that is fulfilling and meaningful, I must do the work to get there. If that means hitting pause on forward motion until I can get myself together - then I hit pause. There is no sense running headlong into a future I am not at all prepared for. However, I will not allow myself to hit pause indefinitely because of fear. I will reorganize, regroup, refresh, and then reassess. When upon reassessment if I find myself reasonably confident, I will begin forward motion again. By reasonably confident I mean capable of putting one foot in front of the other and figuring out the details as I go.
One will find strength and character on the journey and not while thinking about the journey and one must get off their butt in order to develop both, as well as glean any knowledge needed, to get to where they want to be. You cannot be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
All of the above require work. All require commitment.
All require the exact same amount of energy that sitting on one's butt and complaining about how awful their existence is does. It takes the same amount of energy to be happy that it does to be sad. It just uses different muscles. However, what I am finding as I go about my journey - people are lazy. People are also very comfortable in "talking" about doing and less comfortable actually doing. I am also finding people really-really-really can't stand those people who are doing the doing. Follow me?
I know a woman - her life is a mess. A complete and utter mess. What does she do about it? Nothing but find other people to blame. It's not her fault. It's never her fault. While some of it actually isn't her fault, it is totally on her for not doing something about it. Why should she have to? Why should she do anything? Well, for starters, it is her damn life. Instead of spending weeks and weeks blaming the world for everything she doesn't have, she could be putting the work in to get what she wants. She needs to get herself a serious reality check. But, she never does. It is fair more acceptable to continue on miserable, blame everyone but herself, and not get any further ahead, then it is to actually plant her feet, take honest stock of her situation, and figure out a game plan to create a meaningful and happy life. She is lazy. She is also miserable. She really needs to be neither one of those things. However, she won't do the work.
It makes me crazy when someone believes they are owed something from the world because sometime something happened to them. Something happens to every single soul on this planet. It is the strength of the person who pulls themselves up and gets the help they need in order to give something to the world that defines success and not the one who simply feels it is their due. Happy people make themselves happy. Successful people make themselves successful.Healthy people work on getting healthy. Well-adjusted and healed people - they did the work to get well-adjusted and healed. They threw down, got their hands dirty, and made life happen. The world owes you nothing. Instead of hating on all of those who have, while you yourself have not, look to ways you can improve.
Then - DO THE WORK!
I can already hear excuses form on some lips. "It's not that easy." "I have depression." "I don't know where to start." "I can't because..." "I won't because..." "People will give me a hard time." "No one understands what it is like."
It is never easy. Not many worthwhile things in life are. I understand depression and mental illnesses. I also know that overcoming them is possible - with work. Hard work for sure, but help is available to get you going and walk alongside of you while you fight it. Don't know where to start? Start by looking into the mirror and speaking to yourself. Look yourself in the eye and challenge yourself. What do you want? What does your soul crave? What do you need to do to get there? Research. Makes calls. Ask. Reach out. You can't because you won't. You won't because you do not want it bad enough. If you did - you would move heaven and earth to make it happen. So, if you aren't, you need to reassess what it is exactly you want. People will give you a hard time. Certain types of people will hate you for doing the work. So what? They are just mad at themselves for not doing the work and it has NOTHING to do with you. While I may not understand what it is like to be you - I know that nothing in your world is insurmountable. Some out-of-the-box thinking may be needed. Getting creative and reaching out for help will probably be necessary. Nevertheless, you can do anything if you want it bad enough.
However, you have to WANT it. You have to want to be better. You have to want happiness and a meaningful life. Really, want it. Excuses will fade away when you reach your first goal. Lose the first 5 pounds. Run that first mile. Wake up with a renewed sense of purpose because you took control of your life. Hit the first week sober. Wrote the first chapter of your novel. Looked at yourself in the mirror and for the first time liked what you saw.
That fire in your eyes is the reflection of the fire in your soul. You can do it. You can be or do whatever you want. You just gotta get your hands dirty and make it happen.
There are no shortcuts in life, you have to do the work to reap the rewards. But, I'll tell you something - You, your life, and your future are most definitely worth it.
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