A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity...
I live my life being true to one thing, myself. My actions, beliefs and thoughts are no one's but my own. I live what is right for me, how I want to live, feel and be. If people don't like that, well that's fine with me, to each their own. I am who I am, take it or leave it. I work hard for what I have, went through a lot of bad relationships to get to the perfect one, I stand up for myself and others, am up front and honest with everyone, and I am happy. I know who I am, what I am capable of, what my strengths and weaknesses are and how far I will go for my friends and family. I am here to please no one but myself and those I love. To me this is living life honestly. I am who I am. How else would someone that is well adjusted, confident and strong be? And why does this incite such hostility and jealousy in certain types of people? I call them the neurotics. People that allow their insecurities to fuel their daily lives. That see someone who is happy and decide that because they are not happy in their own lives, it is their duty to try and destroy, ruin and change another's happiness.
I have such a hard time fathoming why the neurotics seem to think that this makes for a happy life. Jealousy is a nasty green little creature that if allowed, will control all of your thoughts and actions that to me, could be better spent improving your own life. Typically when this behavior arises in someone that I am somehow connected with, I will simply ignore it. Their insecurities can have no bearing on how I live my life. However, when it doesn't end there, and it starts to affect me personally, I get really cranky. Why should I have to alter my life, how I am, in order to justify their issues? If it happens to be someone close to me, then I will take the time to understand the motivation behind their actions. I may try and talk to them about it. Probably though I will just ignore it, until it directly effects me. By directly effecting me I mean, when it goes beyond the line of simple jealousy that we all have been at one time or another in our lives. Our best friends get an awesome job or new car..One of our buddies has a hot new girlfriend while you are still searching for the perfect one.. These are normal jealous feelings, that disappear just as fast as they arise.. its when the person who is jealous takes it that step further and tries to ruin the new relationship or stops being your friend because you have more then they and they just can't get over it. Its that line when crossed that gets me every time. When does it go from being happy for your friend to..now you are the bad guy for being happy or successful?
And when did it become ok to sabotage the other person? Why must people who allow their jealousy to control them, have that right to try and destroy what makes us happy? And why does it always seem to be, that when we stand up for ourselves and call them on it, we end up the bad guys? Or don't call them on it and just let them go... not feeding into their drama, so they step it up a notch in order to get our attention, to hurt us as they feel we have hurt them? Why is it a never ending battle? When did it become not ok to be happy, loved and successful?
How do you stop the other person's issues from effecting you? Especially if it is a situation from which you really can't extract yourself from? How do you while staying true to yourself say hey! knock this shit off... enough already. Instead of trying to destroy what you don't have, or what you envy in another, why not turn that energy inside and fix what you have broken inside of you? How do you get this person to understand, that while their actions may hurt you now, in the long run it is totally themselves that will pay the price?
It can be hard not to react to it, not to allow their actions or change how you are. Especially if they are constantly running their mouth off about you with lies and manipulating those around you to also believe their fantasy. Because often times that is exactly how the little green monster rears its ugly head... in lies and stories that have no basis in anything other then someones neurotic insecurities. I guess the question is, do you even justify it with a response? Do you let it go? Or do you confront it head on? I have tried personally all of the above and have come to the conclusion there really is only one way to react...
Continue to live your life. Continue to trust in yourself and who you are. Tune out the neurotics and their tales and drama. Live your life as you are, doing what makes you happy. They will either get over it... or not. In the end, the truth is, its not really your problem. It is totally their own. Until they turn their thoughts inside and look at themselves they will never be happy or confident.
Never, ever change who you are, for someone else's insecurities. Stay true to the one person in this world you need to worry about, yourself.
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