In truth it is not even really about you. It has always been about them.
Their issues, their hang ups. You are just fine the way you are.
Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz, Snow White or the TV show Once Upon a Time? At the heart of each one of these is good vs. evil- bad vs. good. Throughout the story the battle goes back and forth until you are left on the edge of your seat wondering who is ahead and who is behind. You curse when the Bad scores points against the Good and cheer when Good prevails. Back and forth it goes in constant drama. Makes for good TV but not so much when you are faced with it in life. Maybe not evil per se, but the back and forth with someone that only wants to hurt, discredit or force you to eat the poisoned apple.
When someone is so full of pain, of insecurity or just plain miserable with their own lives, they tend to lash out at others. Hoping to elevate their own conditions they force a power play of sorts. Breaking another down as a way of building themselves up. If it goes on for a long period of time it becomes habit for this type of person. It eats even further away at what good they had inside. It becomes all encompassing and a way of life. Lash out at someone who they perceive as better, happier more successful and in turn they feel better about themselves. A slight twist of reality and Poof! like magic, they are better than the one they have been focusing on. Their negativity seeps through though unrealized and touches everything around them. Plunging them further into the darkness. They will continually lash out because they lack the strength to take a honest look at their own lives. It becomes an obsession of sorts.
Take the Wicked Witch in Oz. She stalked Dorothy. She sent flying monkeys at her, she threatened her and did everything to exert her power over her. Green with jealously, locked in her castle she needed to hurt what was good. She manipulated and lied and looked for any opening to release her pain onto another. It is the same with this type of person. They never realize their actions will not lead to a better life. Nor do they seem to care. For as long as they are focusing on the actions of another, they need not be looking at themselves.
I feel sorry for people like this. That lack the strength to fix their own lives. That allow their unhappiness to direct the course their lives take. The pain and heartache they can inflict on others is a direct reflection back on them. But one they will avoid seeing at all costs. They lie. They bully. They lash out. They talk behind your back and do whatever they can to discredit you. They keep files and notes and look for whatever opening they can find to hurt you. They infiltrate your friends, your family and your life. But only if you allow it. You do not have to let their poison effect you.
In truth it is not even really about you. It has always been about them. Their issues, their hang ups. Nothing you could ever do or say will change it. When you realize this, the power shifts. Hold your head up high, shoulders back and remember that it is not your battle to fight, you do not ever need to defend yourself. Because the fight is inside of them. They need to make peace with themselves.
Maybe if you are lucky they will manipulate themselves into $20,000 that they can put towards therapy. But I wouldn't eat any apples in the meantime.
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