Never Ever Give Up

 Imagine a  flame inside of your chest - spark. It may be small, flickering like crazy, but it is there, and it is lit. Your duty to yourself is to see to that spark. Protect it and nurture it. There will be days it roars and days it sputters.
 Never-ever-ever, allow it to blow out. That is your fire. That is your soul.
~J.V. Manning

You are facing something right now and your faith in yourself is non-existent. Life has beaten you down and you are exhausted. Your soul is battered and bruised and hope is like an elusive butterfly, just out of reach or so you tell yourself, over-and-over again. Convincing yourself the pain will never end, your suffering is to be your lot in life, and you don't even want to try to get yourself out of it any more. Why bother? Something else will just come along and knock you back down. You hate yourself for your weakness. You hate yourself for getting to this point. You hate the world and everything that has happened to you. Trapped and alone. You don't even know where to start.

You start where you are. Right this very moment.

Take three deep breaths, right now. Breathe in through your nose and pull that breath as deep into your belly as you can. Pause...and… release. Now again, deep breath in... pause...and release. One more time... Deep breath in... Deep as you can... pause... and… release. Now, roll your head around a bit, stretch those neck and shoulder muscles. Close your eyes for a moment and still your thoughts. Just simply be for a minute or two. No rush, my words will be here when you are ready to come back. 

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Now repeat this mantra to yourself three times aloud or as a soul whisper:

I am strong. I am capable. I am a work in progress. I will cease with the negative self-talk and replace each negative phrase with a positive one. I may not be where I want to be now but I believe in myself to know I will get there. I am not my past. I am not my future. I am now. I will set goals and I will take steps, however small, to achieve them. My life is found in those steps. I am worthy. I am learning. I accept and learn from my mistakes but will not let them thwart my faith in myself. Sometimes bad happens. I will remember good happens too and not get lost when things get dark. I will be my own light. I will be who and what I want to be, because I deserve it. I will trust myself and be my own guiding light.
 I can do this.
 I promise myself. 

Deep breath and release. Head up, shoulders back, and feel the strength of your being in your spine. Imagine a flame inside of your chest - spark. It may be small, flickering like crazy, but it is there, and it is lit. Your duty to yourself is to see to that spark. Protect it and nurture it. There will be days it roars and days it sputters. Never-ever-ever, allow it to blow out. That is your fire. That is your soul. That is the one thing in this world no one can ever take away from you. Believe in that flame and believe in yourself. When the darkness threatens to overtake you - close your eyes and imagine that flame. Allow the light inside you to trickle into the dark. Even the smallest beam is something to hold onto until you feel your strength return. 

Understand life will not become amazing overnight. Understand sometimes shit happens and you need to deal with it when it does. It doesn't mean life is horrible, it means something horrible happened and you need to face it. 

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You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You simply have to remember. You have to remind yourself until you weave it into the very fabric of your existence. You are strong enough. You are capable enough. You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to. Will you falter? Sure. Will you mess up? Of course. There are lessons in those mistakes - be smart enough to see them. Learn from them. Will the people in your life understand when you take your power back? The ones who deserve to be in your life, yes. The ones who don't? You don't need. 

Remember as you embark on your journey of healing, recovering, or reclaiming your life- just as winter draws to its end and the promise of spring dances in the distance - do not lose hope when your blossoming doesn't happen overnight. There will be many false starts, like snowstorms in March. You must learn to roll with it. When the time is right, you must plant the seeds, you must tend to them and nurture them, you must put the work in to make everything come to fruition. 

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Trust in the process. Never lose hope.

The trees never worry that their leaves will return. They will bud and grow when the time is right. The tree makes sure they have the strength of solid branches, the sunlight, and the freedom to grow.

Look to these trees now as winter begins to wane. You cannot see the strength within their trunks, but it is there. You cannot know when the leaves will come, only that they will. Learn this lesson - the tree never gives up when it doesn't happen fast enough, it trusts in the process. It grows strong and becomes ready. It heals from the darkness of winter, it gathers in on itself for the final push, and then it when it is ready, the leaves begin to bud and grow.

So, it is the same within you.
Gather your strength, heal from the darkness, tend, and nurture your soul - then bloom.

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