Know yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself.
Every human being has basic physical needs. Air, water, shelter and sustenance. These are physical needs we require to stay alive. But there is alive and then there is living. Our living needs are not that much more complicated or extensive. But they are important. Needs are very personal and different from one person to the next. Needs have to be met. Have to be. If they are not, than we need to figure out why and take steps to get them met.
Wants are a different animal. We all want for something. But the wants do not dictate our being alive nor our living. Our wants do not have to be met in order for us to be happy and content. Complete. Wants are the cherry on our sundae. We do not need the cherry but we want the cherry. We do not need a flat screen TV, we want one. We do not need to be wealthy, we want the freedom it allows. Wants vs. Needs. Identifying them helps you to avoid living in a constant state of craving and disappointment.
How many times have you said to yourself-- I will be happy when I_________ fill in the blank. Get a new job. Lose 20 pounds. Have more money. Husband cleans more. Wife stops nagging. The list of what we think we require to allow ourselves to be content; has a potential of being endless. When I. After I. If only I. Say you lose 20 pounds, then what? POOF! You are living the life you dreamed? Probably not. You may be happy for awhile then something else will be missing from your life and it will be back to the same on litany.. When I. After I. If only I...
We all have needs. Irrevocable needs. Aside from what it takes to be alive- what makes you come alive? What do you need to be content-to be happy? If your needs go by the wayside day after day with you doing nothing to correct it-- how will it ever get better?
You are the ONLY one responsible for your needs. Not your spouse. Not your children. Not your work. Just You. Never look to anyone or anything outside of your self to meet them. If you are in a relationship and your needs are consistently not being met and you have communicated clearly about them. Then it is up to you to stay or go based on that. If you make the decision to stay and nothing changes- the responsibility for this is on you. It is no longer their fault.
You must make a conscious decision to create the life you need.
The big thing in life is having a clear understanding of the difference between want and need. You do not need your husband to shower you in gifts and come home every night with flowers. You need him to pay more attention to you as a woman. You need to feel connected. Important. Same thing goes for your husbands ladies. They do not need for you to shower them in gifts- but they do need your undivided attention as well. Husbands need to feel important, wanted and connected too. This applies to all of your relationships. Friends, family and coworkers. If you are consistently not having your needs met in these relationships, then it is time to reassess. You are not required to sacrifice your happiness nor your needs in order to be a part of anything. It is OK to walk away. It is OK to stand up for yourself and say this is not healthy for me. This is not what I need.
Own your needs. Own what makes you come alive. Defend them. Stand by them. Know yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Hard sometimes I know. But you are worth it.
Once your needs are met.. well then it is time to focus on getting that cherry on your sundae.