Worry less about what others say about you and more about what your actions say to the world. Live your life so that your work, your heart and your soul - shine. Live your life with honor and with integrity.
Live your life according to what YOU want to see, touch and accomplish.
I was sitting across the booth from a friend of mine at a local coffee shop awhile back. She was obviously nervous and worrying about something and I could see from her eyes she needed to get it out into the open. She was oblivious to the clinks and clanks of coffee cups, the aromatic smells of fresh coffee and freshly baked muffins, things she normally cherished. Something was eating at her and finally, after summoning her courage, she blurted it out. A rumor she said - about me. A nasty, not nice at all, rumor and she wanted me to know about it. She didn't believe it. In fact, she got into quite the verbal altercation defending me. She was furious on my behalf and then, upon seeing my face, totally bewildered. Bewildered because my response was a deep belly laugh. A laugh so loud the other patrons turned to look.
Of course I laughed, what she had just told me was ludicrous. A malicious rumor of course, but hysterical in that there were some who just may believe it. I giggled harder. She looked more and more perplexed. Reaching across the table to touch the top of my hand, she asked me, looking very concerned; "Are you in the process of losing it right now?" Me lose it. Hardly. I was laughing at the sheer audacity of what was being said and because I knew, without any doubt, who had said it in the first place.
Wasn't the first time she had made sweeping declarations about me, my character, my life or my decisions. Probably wouldn't be the last either. She had been at it for so long now, I had stopped getting angry or worrying about it long ago. The person behind this rumor liked to think she knew more about me than even I did. Which was comical, because in truth, we have never even had a conversation longer than a few seconds. But, because I live in a small town and social circles seem to overlap whether I want them to or not, she tended to disparage me whenever she got a chance. I will never understand why. I won't spend any time on it either. It is what it is.
People talk about you all the time and unless you are Mother Theresa (I'm most definitely not) what they say may not always be positive or make you look like the awesome human being you are. I won't say what comes out of other people can't hurt you - it can. Words are incredibly powerful. I also won't say the people in your life will necessarily not believe what they hear, some will. Some will take the words of another and judge you, sentence you and use them against you if given the chance.
What I will say - you don't need these people in your life. At all.
What other people think about you - is none of your business. Not in the least bit. Their thoughts about you are nothing you should ever concern yourself with, change yourself over or allow to interfere with your life. Why you ask? Simply put- doesn't matter.
What people think about you is less of a true representation of who you are and more of a direct reflection of themselves. People who have little to no self-confidence, a heart full of hate or jealousy, will project that out to the world and onto others so as to make themselves feel better. It never works for them and can turn into a viscous cycle. The important thing to remember - it is not a cycle you need to concern yourself with. It is not a battle you need to fight, because what they think and say - doesn't matter. What they think and say about you only hurts if you let it. You have the power to deflect it back to the source and bother yourself with it no more. You have had the power all along.
Worry less about what others say about you and more about what your actions say to the world. Live your life so that your work, your heart and your soul - shine. Live your life with honor and with integrity. Live your life according to what YOU want to see, touch and accomplish. If people don't like it. If people don't "get it." Well then that’s their problem and not yours. Let them talk. Let them say what they will because it won't change anything you have done or will do in the future. Let them talk because while they are busy talking, you are busy living. Step away from the shadows. Step away from the walls of fear and step into the light. Shine.
As long as you understand yourself. As long as you know who you are on the inside. As long as you continue to live authentically - no one, not friends or family, will ever be able to take the peace you have worked so hard for - away. Because it is not theirs. Never was. It is their limited capacity to see beyond themselves, to what they need to change to feel better about their existence, that holds them back - not you. Never was you. I know it is hard to not take it personally but it never was about you. Those who speak horrible things, judge you or blame you for all that is wrong in their lives - have absolutely no place in your life or and maybe most importantly, in your thoughts. I don't care if they are family. I don't care if you have known them since forever - If someone is constantly trying to bring you down, make you look foolish or out to be anything you most definitely not - shut them down. Don't play into them. Don't bother to try and change their mind. That is not your job.
Your job - Well your job is to the live as you see fit. Your job is to honor yourself. Your job is to let your confidence roar and your light shine. So many will bask in your light and see you for exactly who you are. Those friends who will believe in you no matter what - cherish them and hold them close.
The others - well, just know that by living happy and authentically, is all the justice you will ever need. Don’t give them another thought. They do not deserve to be in your world, mind or consciousness. Laugh it off because you know without any doubt – you do not need anyone’s approval to shine.
JV Manning's work and keep her in coffee ♥
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