Storm Drunk Emotionally Hungover

We live, we learn. We love, we lose. We break, we heal. We celebrate, we mourn. Changes happen, and we acclimate. We find different ways to do things. We see things in a different light. We evolve. We adapt.
~J.V. Manning

I stood there, letting the storm winds lash my whole body and the rain soak me to the core. The trees whipped furiously, raging. Dark clouds mirrored the vehement anger I felt inside. The sky wept copious tears, drenching the ground while my soul matched it tear for tear within. This wasn’t my first storm. Won’t be my last, either. Storms are as much a part of life as the rainbows and sunshine that follow. We weather them because we have to. Can’t stop the weather any more than you can stop events that unfold in life that is completely out of your control.

You stand there, locked within the storm, and you do whatever it takes to make it through it.

Eventually, the storm clouds are forced to part with the power of the Sun’s light. Light triumphing over darkness. Bright beams splintering the gloom, calming our heart and mind with their warmth. Yet, we are often left feeling depleted. Empty.
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Emotionally hungover. 

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In the heat of the moment, while facing and handling our storms, we pull from a spring so deep within we didn’t know of its existence until we needed it to give us the strength, tenacity and stalwartness to get through. Yet, once everything is over, these internal powers retreat and we are suddenly mere humans again. Drained of what it took to sustain us throughout the ordeal, unsure of what happens next and clueless as to how we get back up. This moment is a threshold to the darkness that tempts all of us from time to time. To stop fighting our way back to begin anew or to gather that scattered pieces of what once was and use them as stepping stones to what will be.

In the aftermath of a life storm, when the darkness is still very much present, seducing us just to give in to it for a while; clinging to the light that is fighting to break through is often all we can do. Otherwise, we just give up. No one makes it through life without having to battle back from a dark time. No one makes it through without hitting bottom at least once. There will be events in life that scare us; events that force us to see people or ourselves in a light that is less than becoming. Actions we are not proud of. Bad will happen. It’s inevitable. You will face it and deal with it. Overcome it if you fight hard enough. But, you have to want to. You have to want to get through to the other side of anything life throws at you.Regardless of how emotionally hungover you are - You. Have. To. Want. It.
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And, sometimes, you will have to fight for it.
 
Fight the darkness head on to shatter it. Cracks let the light back in. Fight yourself not to give in, when all you want to do in your exhausted state is hide in bed and forget about tomorrow. Sometimes, you have to fight for yourself. And sometimes the fight is within the letting go. For it takes more strength to let go of what you cannot change, recreate or turn back the clock to before it all went to hell.

Some will say; “Why bother, what’s the point?”
What’s the point? You are. 

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For me, I will fight til my dying breath through all the bad life hurls at me. Just as I will appreciate and cherish all the blessings. What else is there to do? We live, we learn. We love, we lose. We break, we heal. We celebrate, we mourn. Changes happen, and we acclimate. We find different ways to do things. We see things in a different light. We evolve. We adapt. For me, I have to make every storm have meaning. It has to bring something to fruition. Whether that be the good I can do with the lessons it taught me, the strength I built from getting through it or the confidence born from picking myself up again and again. I may not have wanted them to happen, but happen they did. It’s up to me to make the storm into something I can use going forward.

A woman asked me the other day; “Why do you fight so hard?” I thought a long time before answering her.

I fight because I can either be the champion of my existence or the enemy. I fight because I know the storms end eventually, and if I can see myself through them, the reward is an inner strength, calmness and appreciation of life I didn’t have before. I fight because it’s important to me that something good come from everything bad I have ever faced. I fight because the lessons I learn, can help others. I fight because I want the good back. I want to be happy and content.

I fight because I am worth it.
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I fight because I will not allow anyone to rescue me. I don’t need saving. I don’t need a white knight. I fight because I can. Because I have to. Because I won’t accept anything less from myself. I fight because it’s life and shit happens and I won’t allow that to dictate my tomorrows or my moments. 

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You get battle weary. You get emotionally hungover. You retreat to lick your wounds and heal. Some will cross that threshold into the darkness and will plummet down even further. But, eventually, they will hit bottom and at that point decide to fight or to pull the shroud of darkness even tighter, blocking out any chance of light. That’s their choice, of course.
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I choose the light, always. Light infuses the new growth within. It chases back the shadows. It’s a cure for the emotional hangovers that works every time.
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People die. Accidents happen. Loved ones hurt us in ways we never anticipated. Storms form and lash at us violently. Sometimes we bend by the sheer force of it til we feel like we will inevitably break and fall apart. Some storms last a long, long time. Others happen so fast we are left spinning in their wake. But, they end. They always end. You won’t be the same as you were before the storm, and maybe that’s the point. You emerge, changed. You fight back as hard as you can for as long as it takes. You cling to the smallest shred of light that appears through the cracks and do what it takes to make that shred as big as it can get.

Fight because you’re worth it. Fight because letting the bad win hurts more than the actual storm. Learn to acclimate. Learn to look for different ways to continue on. Better tomorrows will come. I promise. You will appreciate them on a new level, too. Seeing your world through new eyes and a deeper confidence in yourself.

Acclimate. Adapt. Change. Evolve.

All the steps needed to cure the emotional hangover and settle into yourself more than you ever thought possible. Consider it a gift from the storm. A stronger you. Capable of more than you were. Braver. Courageous.

Unstoppable. 

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