that can bring out the best in us, yet the worst in us.
I was having coffee with a friend the other day, our coffee talk is pretty amazing. It runs the gamut from kids, to work, to gossip, to deep and personal. From shared experiences, life, stress and what we are going to cook for dinner. Mainly, we talk about life and the craziness of it. We talk about being exhausted and how hard it is to juggle all of our responsibilities, be what people expect us to be, handle everything and then some, all while attempting to keep a smile on our faces. More like, forget the smile, I would be happy with not having bags under my eyes on a daily basis. The other day it was one of those conversations were all we did was bitch about everything we had to do, keep track of, handle, juggle, decide on and make time for. Our stolen time for coffee was a break in reality that for a little more than an hour we both cherished. We get each other, she understands what it is like to try and be 15 different people in the course of a day and how that after awhile, it gets so old, you just want to throw your hands up and say, "the hell with it, I quit." Only you can't quit, cause you don't have the time for it.
After she left, I ran some errands and all the while I was thinking. It appears that more often than not, we all spend so much time taking care of everyone else, from work, to family, social commitments, kids, school, sports etc. that we probably by the end of the day, forget that we are actually first and foremost, a person too. We cook, we clean, we pay bills, we plan play dates and outings, manage schedules, parties and carpooling. We work full time, which is more roles that we play, more things to handle and deadlines to meet and bosses to make happy. By the time we get home and plan dinner and actually cook it, we want to fall sleep at the table. But things need to be done and it appears, that 9 times out of 10 it is up to us to make sure they get done.
Have you ever noticed, how know one seems to notice exactly how much you do in the course of a day. Well, they don't notice until you stop doing it, and then it is like the world comes crashing to a halt. Do you ever wish your damn Fair Godmother would show up and wave a wand and make you a queen for the day? Hell forget a whole day, even for a couple of hours. A span of time where its all about you? I mean you, as in who you really are, not you wearing one of the many hats you don every day, not the you who takes care of everything and everyone, but just simply, you. Do you even remember who that person is? Don't you wish that someone would take the load you carry, set it down and take care of you? Sigh, I can just imagine you reading this right now and shaking your head and saying, "yeah right, as if." More often than not, it comes down to you, to treat yourself. And, if that is the case we all know where on your list that is, right at the bottom. Who has the energy? How many of you just wish, someone else would make you feel special, do something just for you, not for anyone else but you? It is not being selfish, it is being human.
I would worry more about it, but I am too tired. I think I need to find that Fairy Godmother of mine and tell her she is fired. Maybe I can find a new one at Walmart, one that grocery shops or something. Yeah I know, fairy tales don't actually every come true. But a girl can dream, can't she?