the perfect, innocent and injured party?
Reality. A simple word, but one that for some, is so hard to face. Instead some will twist it, color it and shape it to fit into only what they can handle. What fits into the lies they have told the world, their family and most of all themselves. They manipulate situations, lie and the sad part, not really for them, but the people are around them, is that they believe it. Honestly though I wonder, do they even realize that they are lying to themselves? Or is their perceptions of reality so distorted, so colored by the lies that they have told, do they actually believe it to be true?
I refuse to play a starring in role in someone's fantasy world. If someone feels the need to try and control me, my life and the lives of people I care about, I have no time for them. You all know what I am talking about here, have all probably had one or two in your life that you have been faced with, The Narcissist. That one person that will twist reality to suit their needs, making everyone but them, look like the bad guys. That will play the victim role like an award winning actress, it get the attention they crave. Their desperate need for control, shaping everything they do, say, and ultimately believe, is like a veil over their eyes. They feel the need to bring people down, in order to validate their very existence. They are manipulators and control freaks, with no thought to anyone but themselves. They are incapable of love, of any real feelings. But rather are more in love with the impression they leave on others. These types of people are falsely in love with only those that believe in these false impressions, will only tolerate you as long as your play along with their fantasy, with their lies. When one sees through their facade, sees through the twists and turns of their lies, to the true self behind the mask they wear to the world, The Narcissist will often become outraged, full of disrespect, disdain and contemptuous dislike for the one that dared look beyond what they wanted you to see.
In essence, the Narcissist has mastered the power of words, without understanding the power of substance. That while they talk and they talk, their words, when probed, mean nothing. Just because you say the same thing 12 different ways, in a variety of flowery descriptions, does not make it reality. For example there is this Narcissist I have the pleasure of dealing with personally, she will tell you that she is the most open and honest woman that walked the face of the earth. When in reality is she manipulative, pathological and lacks the emotional substance of a basic human being. This woman hates me, loathes me, I know this, everyone knows this. But yet in a communication she states how appreciative she is of me, how she respects me. Honestly I almost spit coffee out when I read that one line, as she has been nothing but disrespectful, with her lies and interference in things she as no place in. But this Narcissist makes it a point to make it her place, she puts control freak to a new level. As long as people play along with her delusions, the false impressions she presents to the world, then she will pretend to be sweet and loving, key word there being pretend. Nothing in a Narcissist's world is based in fact, in reality. They will say the right words, but never be able to back them up.
The sad thing is, the Narcissist believe their lies. I can't imagine a world where I would need to lie to myself in order to function. With me, what you see is what you get. I can back up my words and I do so by the life that I lead. I have follow through on my promises and hold a firm grasp upon reality. I imagine that it is a lonely existence waiting for people to see through the image to what lies inside, knowing full well that they will see the truth eventually and will walk away. When one bases a relationship, be it friends, lovers or family, on lies and manipulations, the truth will eventually come to light and the Narcissist will be alone.
Draw the curtain, the fraud is over. Seriously though, if only it were that easy. May you all be immune to the deceptive words of your own Narcissists and may you have the joy of calling them out whenever you get the chance.