We are all flawed creatures and in that share a common bond with the rest of the world. You are no less awesome for your flaws than I am. I am just the type of person that embraces them. I cherish my flaws because without them I would not
have a measuring stick to see to all the good in me.
When will you be good enough...for you? Is there some magical breaking point when one throws their hands up and just accepts everything about their self as is? Why is this so hard? I asked this question last week on the Random Thoughts Facebook page. The prevailing answer I read over and over again- I'm learning to. You learn to like coffee, you learn how to drive, and you learn how to eat a lobster. What you shouldn't have to do- is learn to love and accept yourself.
With the New Year in full swing all I keep hearing about is resolutions. "I'm going to the gym". "I'm going to lose weight". "I am going to stop being such a pushover". "I'm going to save more money". It is all about people resolving to change themselves. Don't get me wrong getting healthy and saving money is awesome. Standing up for your self is key in life. These are all attainable goals to better yourself.
However, you should BE yourself in the process.
If the next line of this blog was to say name 25 things you would change about yourself many of us would start flicking out fingers as we named the list. But if I said name 25 things you wouldn't change about yourself for anything, most would get stumped after 5. Even 5 would be hard for a lot of us. It would be a struggle to say it out loud let alone list 25 things we wouldn't change for anything. But ask us what we would change and we are off. Changing and growing are incredibly important in life. But so isn't being comfortable in your own skin as is. You are you and no one else in this world can take that away from you- as long as you don't let them.
Once upon a time I really cared how the world viewed me. I think we all have at one time or another. Especially through the school years when it was natural to compare yourself to others and common to be judged by everyone around you. It is a rite of passage and one that is so incredibly painful to go through. But it teaches us the lesson that we are different. That we are not cookie cutter molds of the same person replicated over and over again. That we are who we are and that is ok. Some people aren't going to like you and yet others will cherish the ground you walk on. But neither matter if you do not cherish yourself. So quick we are to write ourselves off as not being good enough, strong enough or handsome enough. We base our total worth on scales, on bank accounts and on everyone else's opinion of something only we truly can know.
We feel shame because of circumstance. We make mistakes, we stumble and we make really awful decisions. We are all flawed creatures and in that share a common bond with the rest of the world. You are no less awesome for your flaws than I am. I am just the type of person that embraces them. I cherish my flaws because without them I would not have a measuring stick to see to all the good in me. My flaws prompt me to be a better person and serve to motivate me to find ways that I can improve myself. What I won't allow is my flaws to stop me nor define who I am. I don't care how old you are, if you are single, married or divorced. I don't care if you swear like a sailor or stress eat. These are just circumstances. These things are life's trappings. These things do NOT define you. Circumstances you may need to accept. Circumstances may need to be changed or learned how to handle in life. But you are not a circumstance. You are you. You are not your past, you are not your future and you sure as hell aren't here by accident. You have a reason to be here and that is what you must learn. But you must accept yourself- flaws an all. You must. Because right now- this very moment YOU are perfect. Just as you sit there and read this. This exact moment in time finds you completely acceptable. You are not defined by the clothes you are wearing. You are not defined by size. You are not defined by illness. You are defined by simply being.
It is hard to drown out the voices that make us doubt ourselves. The voices that bring us down and hold us there. People who we care about tend to hurt us the most. We come to believe all the negative they say and the limits they place on us. We allow their judgments to define our lives and to dictate our worthiness. It hurts because we believe them. The ones that love us aren't supposed to lie so what they say about you must be true. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Who you are is not defined by anyone outside of you. What they think about you, about your life or your circumstances- are none of your business. Live your life as you are and if they can’t accept that, well then walk away. It is not your responsibility to make anyone in this world accept you. They either do or they don’t. Such is life and the ones that don’t-Well you just don’t need them.
That magical moment where you suddenly accept yourself as is...
Is right this very moment. Now.
Not when you, after you or when you can.
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