Sometimes, because of the lack of love we should be giving to ourselves, we allow ourselves to settle into relationships that should never have even started or trapped in ones that should have ended long ago. If we try, if we silence the whispers of our souls long enough, we begin to make excuses, justifications when those we have chosen to love behave badly. We accept it as the best we could hope for, we think it is all we are worthy of.
We become blind to the dark side of love.
Just as the darkness of night gives balance to the brightness of day – there is a perfect balance to love. If there is good, then there is bad. Often, we fool ourselves into blindness because we cannot force ourselves to see what’s broken. Seeing it makes it real. Real means we must confront it. We must confront ourselves, challenge our inner enemy and see that maybe we have not loved ourselves right into a situation that we must now find the courage to extract ourselves from.
Love is powerful.
Love of oneself is paramount in this life. It is also one of the hardest, most incredibly important, necessary and critical life lessons we must absorb into the fabric of our souls.
You deserve it. Yes, you do. Nothing less than pure, no strings attached love. Love that builds you up, protects you and challenges you. Love that doesn’t require anything more than you - as You. Because you are the essence of love, whether you see it yet or not.
Love is in you. It is you. You are worthy. It’s time you embraced that lesson.
Love doesn’t leave bruises. Love doesn’t make you question everything single thing you thought you knew about yourself. Love doesn’t make you feel worthless and used. Love doesn’t require selling yourself out to please it. Love can't be bought. You should not have to jump through hoops to receive it from someone. You definitely shouldn’t be required to do anything that doesn’t feel right in your soul or that goes against your truths.
Love doesn’t hurt.
Doesn't matter what role a person plays in your life; parent or sibling, friend or lover, family member - the price of being loved by another should never be your entire identity, soul or confidence. You should never have to give up your complete self in order for someone to give their love to you. You should never put all of your needs, desires and wants on the backburner because someone doesn’t think they are worthy or because their needs and wants take precedence to yours always.
It's not right. It's not healthy. It's not love.
It's power. It's control. It's manipulation. It's greed. It's unhealthy.
So deeply rooted is the fear of letting a loved one down, knowing the moment you stand up for yourself and put your foot down they will probably walk away from you, we often maintain the status quo. We convince ourselves it’s enough. We place the blame on ourselves because it’s easier. We bury the sadness. We allow the emotional vampires to suck all of our self-worth into their soul and leave us malleable and needy. Knowing instinctively that as long as they control you, they will continue to “love” you. But it’s a lie. This isn’t and never was – love.
The price of love is not your identity. The cost of love is never your soul.