The Power of "No"
☼ Believe in yourself enough to fight for you.☼
When you respect yourself, your time and your life,
others will have no choice but to respect it as well.
There is only one person you can count on 100% in this world to stand up for you, fight for you and demand respect for you. That is you. You have to plant your feet firmly, use your strongest voice and lay the law down. Only you. No one else has that power, as they shouldn't. You wield all the power over your own existence. If you don't, than you are doing something wrong. Allowing people to walk all over you, make unrealistic demands of you, place their burdens on your shoulders instead of carrying their own load, has got to stop. You can give and give to people, however if they never once lift a hand to help themselves, it will never stop. You will end up annoyed, exhausted and resentful. Thing is, you should be annoyed, at yourself. Not them. Really. Because you never once said no, or stood by a 'no' when you said it. You did and did some more until it became habit. You then get resentful because you are constantly doing, looking the other way or shouldering responsibilities that weren't yours to begin with, but are now because you took them. You get tired of always being the one to do things. You get so exasperated that you want to throw your hands up and yell, No More!! But you never do.
Why is just saying No, so hard? We all want to help people, be there for our friends and family. Why is setting boundaries with people we care about so impossible? Why is it so difficult to stand up for ourselves with family and friends? Is it because you are afraid that they will stop loving you? Walk away from you? Be mad at you? So what if they are? There is alot of power in that phrase right there. "So what?" Let them be mad at you, let them walk away. Because in doing so gives you your life back. They don't have to like it. Their happiness is not your responsibility. YOUR happiness is. They don't have to like it. But they have to respect it. You have to demand that they respect it. You have to--HAVE TO stand up for yourself. Stand your ground and be firm.
Be your own champion. You don't need someone else to do it for you. You do it. You take control and stop letting people, family-whoever walk all over you. Its not ok. Stop justifying their behavior. You cannot help someone who will NOT help themselves. And they will never help themselves if you won't let them.
Getting angry at people who take advantage of you is easy. But looking internally and accepting the responsibility for allowing it, is not. You allowed it to happen. You took everything they handed you. Out of guilt, out of fear or lack of confidence, you took it. Seeing this for what it is should show you that you have control. You can say no, you just have to allow yourself. The world won't end. The sky won't fall. People may get mad, they may yell and carry on. That is up to them. They are responsible for their own lives. Regardless of how much you put into it. Give them the chance to live, to make mistakes, to become strong in their own right. By standing up for yourself, by saying no, you are giving them a gift. Though chances are they won't see it as such at first, or at all. But you will.
Take back the power of your life. Learn to stand up for yourself. Walk away if you have to, schedule alone time or me time. Understand that the only way people can take advantage of you, is if you allow it.
Believe in yourself enough to fight for you. If you respect you, your time and your life, others will have no choice but to respect it as well.
6/28/2012 11:01:31 am
I like this blog! It reminds me of me...I have a hard time saying no. Especially when it comes to family and friends. I've been practicing and it's getting better, but I have some distance to go..You're right, we who don't say no, have to take responsibility for our actions because no one else will. Thank you for writing this blog! Have a great day!
6/28/2012 11:17:35 am
You will get there!! Thank you so much for reading!!
8/9/2012 07:01:46 pm
Wow! It has taken me 44 years to learn this. It's as if you have live my life , especially for the past 6 years. Thank you for putting it into perspective.
8/16/2012 05:49:40 am
I just came across this blog and it is so powerful. I can relate to it. Most of the times we canot say NO to people out of guilt or because they are family or friends. I have started to follow what you have written. And i realised that saying NO does not make you a bad person. I am glad I came acros this blog.
8/16/2012 06:04:17 am
Does not make you a bad person at all Sara! Makes you right in alot of ways and stronger. Keep doing what you are doing and you will feel your confidence start to build.
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