possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born."
Dr. Dale E. Turn
Dreams, we all have them. We dream of success, we dream of riches, we dream of health and we dream of love. Our dreams are unique to each and everyone of us, as are the steps we take to obtain them, or not as the case may be. We dream of escapes, of vacations to far away lands, exotic adventures and breaking free from the norm. We dream of finding true love, of settling down or losing the chains we have bound ourselves with and being free. We dream of life paths, decisions and choices that we want to take, create and follow. Then we take these dreams, we box them up and put them in some dark, dusty corner of our soul. Occasionally we may take them out and dust them off, wondering what could have been if we had only, done this, thought that, dated this person or took a chance. We mull it over, and then go back to reality, our day to day and push the thoughts aside again. We get older, our priorties change, our situations change, we follow the path of least resistance. We are weary and tired and frankly have no time for dreams. Dreams do not pay the bills, feed the family or vaccum the house. And they sit there, locked within each of us, waiting, waiting and waiting. Without even realizing it, we add to these dreams as the years go on, little pieces of ourselves that we lock away. The I coulda, woulda, shouldas, that build up as we grow older. Everytime we dream of something we want to accomplish, want to build, want to create and not follow through on, it goes into the box.
I lost my dreams in the some where around the middle of my teens. Right around the time when I realized that life wasn't going to get any better, that taking care of my mom, and being responsible for alot of things that weren't mine, gave me little time to care, to dream, to create. I put everyone else ahead of me, their needs, their wishes, their demands and placed mine so far down I forgot they were even there. I didn't have the energy to miss them. Years flew by, and I did what I had to do, never realizing at the time, that in taking care of everyone else, I was losing a part myself in the process. My dreams didn't matter, not to me and not to them. Dreams were fanciful, a waste of time... what I realize now though is, I did waste time, my time. Back in September when I created Random Thoughts n' Lotsa Coffee, I did it on a whim. I was in the process of taking my life back, of discovering who I was and what I was capable of. I started my writing again, my life long dream. For me it was like running into a long lost best friend. Words flowed out of me that had been trapped for years and the results have been astounding. My last blog, "Life Isn't Always Sunshine and Rainbows" went viral. All of a sudden my dreams were coming true. People were reading my thoughts, my words and I was floored. Grateful, happy and for the first time ever, proud. Never again will I put my dreams in a box and hide them. No one can take this away from me, and the sky is the limit. The emails and comments I have received over the past couple of months, have touched a long lost part of me, the real me and I am exciting to get reacquainted with her.
Life can be so draining, so damned overwhelming it crushes you. Your internal pilot light is so dim that you can no longer feel it. The weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can't tell which way is up any more. But all it takes is a little spark, to rekindle what you have inside of you. We all have that flame that burns for something. For me it is writing and taking care of others, either by my words or my actions. I am slowly tending to the flame, feeling it grow and get warmer and warmer. Do you remember your dreams, don't you think that now is the time to dust them off and reexamine them? Why the hell not? Life is to damn short and to damn precious to not even try. You sacrificing yourself does nothing, there will always be demands, and responsibilities and life. But now is the time to make it your own.
And thank you. Thank you for being apart of my dream, for helping me. Your reading and commenting and sharing this blog and my words with others is such a gift and for that I am thankful.