You really can't love unconditionally. People can burn and beat love out of you.
They really can kill it, and it's not your fault you don't feel it any more, and
how liberating it is to finally realize that. Love isn't for better or worse,
through thick or thin. It damn well shouldn't be..
Dr. Kay Scarpetta, Red Mist. By:Patricia Cornwell
Everyone is always searching for that elusive unconditional love. The older I get the more I realise that it is a myth. The premise that unconditional love is impossible, will have some people shaking their heads at me, I know. But if you stop and think about it, how can you love another person without conditions. Why would you really even want to? It is the ultimate sacrifice of you. To give someone that much control really is to say, go ahead hurt me, lie to me, abuse me, use me and I will still love you. Ummm, no. Well not in my world anyway. I love my husband with every ounce of my being. I love his good points, his strength, his integrity, his dedication and I love his flaws...the ever procastinating, the channel flipping, the hours he works. I love all of him. I don't try to change him, mold him or want him to be anything other than who and what he is. I love him unconditionally..with conditions. I love the man he is and the man he wants to be. Unless that man one day decides to hurt me, then its game over. People never walk into a relationship and settle down expecting the worse to happen, ok well most of us don't.. but as the adage goes, Shit Happens. If one day he were to morph into Captain Asshole, then those conditions would come into play.
Love should mean, love me for me, flaws and all. Don't try to change me into someone else, trust in me, challenge me, allow me to grow. Love my independence and my spontaniety. It should mean that you can count on me to always be faithful, always love you for who you are, to always challenge you and be excited to watch you grow. I will unconditionally love you for you, unless that you changes for the worse and then well, there are conditions. Man or woman doesn't matter, we all should enter into relationships with established conditions, and love unconditionally only as long as those conditions are being met. Why would you sacrifice yourself, allow your self to be abused, because you unconditionally love your partner, husband, wife, lover? There is no honor in selling yourself short.
For better or worse, through thick and through thin, in this day in age are being taken totally to literal. Granted every relationship has its ups and downs in the normal course of life and that is fine, you weather those and become a stronger couple. Life happens and stress occurs. But if these stresses, lead to your wife cheating on you, or your boyfriend taking all his aggrevations out on you, physically or mentally, then why would you continue on with this person? You can't love without conditions in a marriage or relationship because to do so is like selling your soul.
I asked on my facebook page last week, what people thought about unconditional love. Their answers surprised me not going to lie. They for the most part said it doesn't exist. Unless it was the love of a parent to a child, and even then that doesn't happen all the time. But that is a whole 'nother blog. I think though that I loved one woman's response the best, she said the only unconditional love that existed, was the love of a dog. I think she may be on to something there. I do have to say that there is one form on unconditional love that I do believe in, and that is to love yourself. You may beat yourself up, get angry at yourself over mistakes, but you have to always love yourself. That isn't the easiest thing to do, I know, believe me I know.
Always love unconditionally...with conditions. For the simple reason, you are worth the sun, the moon and the stars...and no one should ever have the power to hurt you.
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