When You Wish Upon a Star
"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme...."
You find yourself outside on a clear night, the stars are shining brightly and the moon a brilliant giant orb that seems to pull at your soul. You are contemplative and dreamy, bedtime is fast approaching and your defenses are down. Your mind is wandering and for this stolen moment you are at peace. Suddenly, a flash of white streaks the night sky - shooting star. You close your eyes and make a wish...
What do you wish for?
Recently I asked my followers on the Random Thoughts Facebook page a similar question. The altruistic responses aside, I was more interested in what people wished for themselves. While a few declined to share for fear their wishes wouldn't come true, a lot answered. People responded that they would wish for new jobs, new homes, more money, health and someone even wished for their twenty year old body back. Wishes ran the gamut but a lot of them were practical and attainable. Someone asked me what I would wish for and the first thing that popped into my mind was my wish to be able to write full-time. Attainable, yes, if I work hard enough and sell enough books. But as the day went on I took the question and mulled it over.
What would I wish for?
I kept coming back to the same thing over and over again. Realizing as the day went on that apparently this was something that had been on my mind without me even realizing the importance. I wished for no drama, no stress and more time. Three things that seem to occupy my world whether I want them there or not. I want peace. I want people to behave as they should, do as they should and I want time enough to do everything I need to, like spend time with my husband.
It dawned on me as I was contemplating time, drama and stress that I could actually control two out of the three. I will never be able to control time - I have tried. You can't get it back once it is gone, you can't bank some to use later and regardless of how hard I wish, I simply cannot add more hours to the day. I get 24 hours just like everyone else. But what I can control is how I use those 24-hours.
This leads me to the other two.
Drama. I hate it. Can't stand it. Have no place for it, no time for it and no inclination to deal with it. But deal with it I must for there are some people who bring it into my world whether I want it or not. Do I actually have to deal with other people's drama? It can be so easy to get caught up in it, play into it and become embroiled in it before even realizing what is happening. That is not their fault, these drama queens. It is totally mine. Because I allowed it to enter my world. I entertained it and know what, I didn't have to. I could shut them down, tune them out or politely decline to deal with it. I could walk away, ignore it or if it directly affected me put my foot down and stop it. We control what we allow into our lives. We control. If you have someone in your life that is constantly picking fights, gossiping about others, starting battles or generally living like their life is a soap opera - stop entertaining them. Control your life and the cast of characters in it. Their temper tantrums, their need for chaos or need to wind up everyone is of no concern to you, unless you allow it. Stop allowing it.
A freeing thought isn't it?
Stress. Aside from everyday stress which unfortunately is life, the stress that certain people bring into your life all the time is, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, a pain in the ass. It is hard enough when it is friends or co-workers, even more difficult when it is family and you are obligated to deal with them. Or are you? Like the drama queens that start problems, there are those people that behave in a way that causes you stress. Emotional vampires that suck the contentment out of your life and replace it with a riled up stomach, knotted muscles, racing heart and if you are like me, a headache. People, who do not respect you, take advantage of you or back you into corners, pile insults on you or use your every chance they get. You know how they are. You know who they are. You allow yourself to become entangled with them over and over because you simply think you have to. Guess what? You don't. People who cause you stress all the time, who disrespect you or take advantage of you - do not deserve any time in your life. Stop allowing them room in your mind. The only people who should be in your world are the ones YOU want there. People who treat you with the respect you deserve, who love you and people who believe in you. You are always going to have assholes to deal with in life, that is a given, but deal with them and be done with it. Stop letting them back into your life again and again. Control your happiness. Control your world. If someone needs to go, but won’t on their own, then stand up for yourself and leave them. You don't have to make a big deal out of it. You don't have to make a scene, leave that for the drama queen, but make a conscious decision on who has a place in your life. Stop entertaining those who don't.
I have, over the years, weeded out some people who over and over again hurt me, lied to me, used me, or basically brought so much drama into my life that it affected me mentally. Each time they would flare up I would swear to myself it would be the last time, only for a long time, it wasn't. I would allow them back again and again because I felt like I had to. But then one day I made a few wishes. Attainable wishes for sure. I wished for peace, I wished for contentment and I wished to be happy. Then I wished a big one. One that for me was harder to attain, but one that eventually did come true. I wished that I would realize that I was worth my wishes coming true. My wishes for happiness, peace and contentment were worth fighting for because I deserved them. But, and this is a big BUT, I had to make them come true - by believing in me.
Same thing goes for you. You deserve to be happy, peaceful and content. Make your wish and then believe in yourself enough to make them all come true.
I think Jiminy Cricket sang it best...."When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme...."
Make your wish.
8/7/2013 01:19:30 pm
Loved it jenn!
8/7/2013 01:45:30 pm
8/7/2013 01:21:41 pm
Changed my wish....for my mom to not feel such fear at losing her memory, it is a painful thing to watch. Sometimes stress and drama is not purposely inflicted by people. It is just there as a side effect of their lives, of their illness. But we still have to deal with it and learn how to put it aside and gently talk about fears and losses. My life now in one day turned into stress, drama and fear of the future. I have put aside my wishes for my own peace and contentment for the moment. Right now, my duty is to someone else, to try to bring contentment and peace to her. It is my turn, she took care of me first. Love your posts Jenn, thank you.
8/7/2013 01:51:16 pm
8/7/2013 02:10:59 pm
Couldn't of said it better myself. You and I have similar thoughts. Thanks for posting. You make it sound so simple. Love reading your blogs.
9/10/2013 11:36:47 am
8/7/2013 05:29:29 pm
It always amazes me when out of frustration with life and drama an article, a book, an affirmation comes right before me. And then the answers that were always there but seem to be looking at me appear !!! Thank you Jenn
9/10/2013 11:35:40 am
Anabeth, it always strikes me how the universe seems to bring to me exactly what I need the moment I need it. Be it words, people, quotes or whatever. I am touched that my words were that for you.
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